A young man was left feeling crushed after he was forced to end an exciting new romance. Then, months later, he bumped into the woman he’d had a fling with, and a baby of a very telling age
A potential father has found himself in a tricky situation after bumping into a woman he had a brief fling with, and the baby he’s sure is his.
A little over a year ago, the 23-year-old student locked eyes with the 24-year-old woman at the café where he works part-time. Sparks flew back and forth over the counter, and she ended up leaving her number. A text exchange ensued, and after a few weeks had gone by, he decided to ask her out on a proper date.
After a fun night of clubbing, they ended up back at his place, where kisses turned into tipsy sex, followed by more sex the next morning. They didn’t use a condom the first time, and he didn’t think to ask whether or not she was on the Pill.
Although the anonymous man had hoped this could be “the start of something special”, his optimism was crushed over breakfast when his café crush admitted she was already in a relationship with a boyfriend who often worked away.
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Hurt by this admission, he decided to end things right then and there, not wanting to be anyone’s bit on the side. The woman he had hoped might become his girlfriend blocked his number, and didn’t come back to he cafe where they’d just met. But that wasn’t the end of the story.
Months went by, and there was no contact. Then, just a few short weeks ago, he bumped into her once again, and this time, she wasn’t alone. Writing in to The Sun’s Dear Deirdre column for advice, the stunned man wrote: “She was pushing a buggy with a baby in it. When I asked if the child was mine, she flat-out denied it and told me to get on with my life.
“But I’m sure the timings add up — and her boyfriend was away. I need to find out if I’m the baby’s father because I can’t stop thinking I might be a dad, and if the baby is mine, I want to be involved. How do I go about proving it without her boyfriend finding out?”
Giving some sympathetic yet tough words of advice in response, agony aunt Sally Land replied: “These days, there are DNA tests available to determine paternity. But sadly, this woman has made it very clear she doesn’t want you in her life – or her baby’s.
“Unless she gives her consent, without going to court, there is virtually no way you would be able to do a DNA test to find out the truth, especially without her boyfriend finding out. If he accepts that the baby is his, then it’s likely they had sex around that time.
“Even if the baby is yours, you wouldn’t automatically have any legal rights to be involved, although you would have financial responsibility. It will help you to talk to someone in confidence about your feelings. Contact themix.org.uk, which helps under-25s.”
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