High school teacher reveals why it’s important for all students to FAIL at least once
High school teacher reveals why it is essential for parents to let kids FAIL if they want them to be high achievers – and warns hiring a tutor could turn them into ‘stressed-out perfectionists’
- Michigan high school teacher Angela Repke says failure is an important lesson
- ‘They’d learn that they have to work hard… to achieve higher standards,’ she says
- Experts say failure arms children with skills to become ‘well-adjusted adults’
A Michigan high school teacher has revealed why it’s important for parents to let their children fail at least once.
Angela Repke wrote for Insider that it may be hard for parents to see their offspring ‘trip on their faces,’ but she believed that it was an important lesson to experience.
‘The teens I’ve taught are caught in a generation of instant gratification, thanks to the smartphones adhered to their hands. This connects to instant success, too. They’ve forgotten how to work hard on a paper and revise it or study at length for a biology exam,’ she said.
‘To prevent their children from failing, some parents try to save them. Sometimes this looks like a parent paying for a tutor, completing an assignment for their child, or even applying an immense amount of pressure on their child to ensure they always get stellar grades.’
A Michigan high school teacher has revealed why it’s important for parents to let their children fail at least once (stock image)
Angela argues that this intervention teaches ‘stressed-out perfectionist’ children that their self worth is tied to their success at school, while others will think their parents will always be there to assist or fork out for a tutor, so they don’t need to put in the hard yards to get good grades.
She added if parents allowed kids to fail they would grasp it was not a good feeling and discover that they can ‘get back up’ after being knocked down.
‘They’d learn that they have to work hard at something to achieve higher standards. They’d learn intrinsic motivation — that it feels indescribable when you work hard for something and produce great outcomes,’ the teacher continued.
But Angela isn’t the only one who thinks parents should step back and let their children learn from failure.
Clinical psychologist Liz Nissim-Matheis said it may be scary to let it happen, but these sorts of experiences would arm kids with skills to become ‘healthy, well-adjusted adults.’
‘Let them fail; let them fall. Be there to wipe their tears and comfort them the same way you comforted your toddler when he scraped his knee. Let them feel whatever they need to feel. Listen. Validate,’ Liz wrote for Psychology Today.
Angela Repke (seen) wrote that it may be hard for parents to see their offspring ‘trip on their faces,’ but she believed that it was an important lesson to experience
But she warned parents not to try to fix or solve their children’s issues for them because they needed to learn how to ‘speak to or negotiate with a supervisor, a professor, or process their emotions at times when we can’t be there to guide them through it.’
A 2013 article on The Atlantic cited a study from researchers at Australia’s Queensland University of Technology about the impacts of overparenting.
The study defined overparenting as a ‘misguided attempt to improve their child’s current and future personal and academic success.’
To help better understand this concept, 128 professionals were surveyed about the overparenting they had witnessed.
One of the main perceived outcomes mentioned is a child ending up with a lack of resilience.
‘Parents not prepared for children to be resilient. They believe that regardless of effort their child must be rewarded. When these children experience failure they become extremely emotional in the school setting,’ a professional wrote.
And others also noticed a sense of entitlement developing in children who grew up with overprotective parents.
‘I have worked with quite a number of parents who are so overprotective of their children that the children do not learn to take responsibility (and the natural consequences) of their actions. The children may develop a sense of entitlement and the parents then find it difficult to work with the school in a trusting, cooperative and solution focused manner, which would benefit both child and school,’ one account read.
Researchers said this style of raising kids, ‘where parents assume responsibility for improving their child’s experience of life, may impact on their child’s perceived ability to effect change in many aspects of their life, and on their sense of wellbeing.’