A groom has been slammed after revealing how he changed his wedding venue as a surprise to his wife.
The anonymous man, 25, believed to be from Poland, told Reddit that he planned a surprise wedding in Venice for his bride-to-be, in a bid to give her ‘poor family’ a taste for the finer things in life.
Sharing a post on the Am I the A****** thread he explained his bride-to-be was very conscious with her cash – but his father was very happy to fork out so they could have the dream wedding.
He explained his father offered to cover the costs of the wedding and to change the venue from a local church to a ‘flashy’ place in Venice – but was left stunned when his wife-to-be ‘didn’t take the change too well’.
He added: ‘I’m confused since that venue was never practical and am wondering if I’m the a****** here or if she is overreacting?’
An anonymous man, 25, has been slammed after revealing how he changed his wedding venue as a surprise to his wife (stock image)
Sharing a post on the site, he wrote that he is a 25-year-old man marrying his 24-year-old girlfriend this October.
He explained: ‘We both have very large families, but hers is really poor and kind of traditional.’
The man argued that his girlfriend’s upbringing has left her cautious with cash – and that she’s always gravitated towards cheaper things out of necessity but that his father was willing to fork out for his only son’s dream wedding.
The Redditor also felt that the couple’s chosen venue – the ‘small local church where she was christened’ was not appropriate as it wasn’t able to house their entire guest list.
He decided to take matters into his own hands after presuming that his future wife only chose the location for its affordability, and enlisted the help of his generous father to cover the costs for a destination wedding abroad.
The two men decided on a venue in Venice – and the groom’s father even offered to arrange transportation for all guests amongst other expenses.
Invitations for a Venice wedding were sent out and the original venue – the quaint church where his girlfriend was christened, was no longer going to host the pair’s big day – much to the dismay of his partner who didn’t appreciate the surprise.
He reasoned in good faith: ‘I knew the money spent would make her anxious and she has always dreamed of visiting Venice so I waited to tell her until it was organised as a surprise.’
One man, believed to be based in Poland, told Reddit that he planned a surprise wedding in Venice for his bride-to-be, in a bid to give her ‘poor family’ a taste for the finer things in life
‘Well, she didn’t take it well and said I was a massive a****** and that she had much preferred the church venue.
‘She said it was too embarrassing to cancel it now that I’ve told people but seems really mad.
‘I’m confused since that venue was never practical and am wondering if I’m the a****** here or if she’s overreacting. AITA?’
Irate by his independent decision, the woman berated her fiancé for not consulting her first and many Redditors agreed.
People didn’t hold back – one user telling the man ‘a marriage is supposed to be a partnership’ and he had ignored her feelings
People didn’t hold back – one user told the man: ‘A marriage is supposed to be a partnership.
‘You operated completely behind her back, then revealed it once it was a fait accompli. How can you be confused about her reaction?’
The same user continued: ‘You think you sent the message “He’s willing to get his parents to do extravagant things for us” or if you didn’t tell her it’s daddy’s money, “He’s willing to spend so much to give me nice things!”
‘The message you actually sent is “He does not give one benighted f*ck about my feelings and desires.
‘”He’s always going to make huge decisions behind my back”.’
Another user wrote: ‘I so blame rom-coms for making it seem like these gigantic gestures are romantic.
‘Not only are they not romantic, they completely disregard the feelings of the person being “surprised”.’
‘I’m also not excusing OP, and I’m not saying that the existence of this trope is why he did it.
‘There’s literally no excuse for him steamrolling her like that.’
Others spoke of his selfishness: ‘Dude her family may not even have passports to leave the country. International travel isn’t a norm for working class families.
‘You didn’t change the venue, you completely uprooted what was a beautiful commitment ceremony and made it a lavish party.’
One user posed the question: ‘So, why didn’t you just plan to honeymoon there?’ but another user stressed more sympathetically: ‘Not everybody like surprises, even nice thoughtful ones.
‘It would have been a very nice gesture if you had talked about it with her.’