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I turned down a relationship with my son from a sperm donation – am I in the wrong?


I turned down a relationship with my son from a sperm donation – am I in the wrong?

A sperm donor has questioned whether he is in the wrong for turning down a relationship with his biological son.

The US-based man took to Reddit to seek advice on whether he acted maliciously in not wanting to connect with his child.

He donated sperm when he was younger in a bid to help other people build families when he was not ready for one himself.

At the time, he never thought that an ancestry website would provide a link back to him, but this is exactly how his biological son managed to track him down.

Now, Reddit users have taken to the comment section to advise the father on whether he should form a relationship with his son, despite the original post since being deleted. 

An anonymous user took to Reddit to seek advice on whether he is in the wrong for turning down a relationship with his son from a sperm donation after he turned up at his door 

The post explained that the child had managed to reach his father through his cousins via the ancestry website.

The cousins had then gone behind his back and given private information to the son about his biological father.

They had been communicating with the child and encouraged a sense of hope in him.

Not only this, but the cousins were also shaming the father for not wanting to connect with the son, despite his original wishes.

Eventually, this led to the child turning up to his biological father’s house.

But the father shot down the chance to connect.

The Reddit user believes that his family members have overstepped boundaries as they have responded against his will.

It’s believed that the son, who had been raised by two mothers,  had not informed his non-biological parents, posing a potential safeguarding risk due to the sensitive nature of the situation.

Not only this, but the Reddit user’s fiancé is currently pregnant, and so he is trying to make life as stress free as possible.  

Reddit users have flocked to the comments to help the confused father, and most side with the father. 

One said: ‘I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My suggestion is to block them both and move on. You don’t owe either of them anything. 

‘It’s hard for the kid, I’m sure. But that’s his issue to work out in therapy. Biology doesn’t make a family. You helped someone else make a family and that’s who should be important to him.’ 

A second user added: ‘You’re not a dad. You’re a sperm donor. I assume it’s your cousins who are feeding into this kids fantasies romanticizing your involvement as something more than it actually was. 

‘I would very clearly lay down the law with your cousins if this is going to be an ongoing fight. Strong arming you into being a father because of a sperm donation you made when you yourself were a kid is just cruel.’ 

A third wrote: ‘You donated sperm and it was anonymous. You aren’t a father and you don’t have to have any responsibilities with that kid. 

‘Your cousins are being major AHs and I don’t think they actually see the situation properly.’ 

Another said: ‘You are exactly right – you were a sperm donor in a clinic, not helping friends have a baby or deserting this kid’s mother. 

‘You were, before DNA testing, assured it was anonymous. Turns out that anonymity isn’t guaranteed because of things like 23&me. You may need to have a discussion with a lawyer.’ 

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