I won’t invite my brother’s lonely friend for Christmas, am I selfish?

A woman has been branded ‘selfish’ because she doesn’t want to invite her brothers lonely friend over for Christmas because he is ‘a stranger’.  

Taking to the parenting forum Mumsnet, the unnamed woman explained that her brother’s friend who lives abroad is visiting the UK for a month and will be alone on Christmas Day.

Her sibling has asked could he join them for the festivities, but the mother-of-three revealed she doesn’t want a stranger in her house because it would ‘change the dynamics’ because she has small children and is breastfeeding. 

People were left divided, with some claiming she is being selfish, while others advised her to uninvite her sibling so he can spend the day with his pal.   

She explained: ‘My mother and brother were due to come to my house for Christmas. 

‘I am married with three children, one of who is a young baby. Last week he randomly said he has a friend from abroad coming to stay for a month and if I don’t invite him he will be alone on Christmas Day.

‘I explained I don’t want a stranger there and it changes the dynamics with small children/breastfeeding etc. He is insisting I could meet the friend beforehand. 

She continued: ‘He is like a dog with a bone and won’t drop it and keeps bringing it up/poor friend will he all alone etc etc. 

‘I’ve been clear that if he can’t come as he needs to be with his friend that’s fine and now I feel very mean indeed. But am I being unreasonable?

‘I just think it would be very awkward indeed and I do also think there’s an element of my brother wanting to park up for some free/food drink with his friend. 

‘He suggested bringing his games consoles ‘for the children to play’ although children are 4 and under.’ 

Many rushed to the comment section to label the poster as ‘selfish’ saying she should be welcoming. 

One person wrote: ‘You sound a bit selfish op! It’s only one day, I would never see anyone alone on Christmas day.’ 

Another said that they wouldn’t want to exclude their brother and not see him on Christmas Day for the sake of avoiding his friend. 

‘You would presumably be discreet breastfeeding in front of your mum and brother [anyway]?’ they wrote.  

Another said: ‘It’s Christmas. Isn’t it in the spirit of Christmas to be welcoming? Tell him to bring a bottle of fizz and some cheese/choc/lobster.’

While someone else said: ‘I just think its not very kind! How hard is it to invite and be hospitable to one extra person?’

However others agreed with the woman saying they wouldn’t like to have a stranger around the house on Christmas Day.

One person wrote: ‘Good for you. I wouldn’t have a random bloke round my kids on a family day, just because he was dumb enough to book an a road trip during one of the biggest family holidays in the world.’

While someone else said: ‘Hell no would I be having that!!! You did right by saying if he can’t make it then that’s fine. 

‘How rude of you brother to not even really ask if it’d be OK. Stick to your guns, and don’t feel guilty in the slightest.’ 

Another said: ‘When I had a new baby and was learning to breastfeed I was INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE being around men I wasn’t related to. 

‘To bring a strange man into the house at such a time would be very disrespectful to the new mother.

‘Also, you gave a reason and you certainly don’t need permission from a bunch on internet randoms looking for drama. Tell him you have given the answer, it is a very clear ‘no’ and you don’t appreciate being bullied.’

Some people suggested she should univite her brother so he can spend Christmas Day with his friend.

One person wrote: ‘If he mentions it again just uninvite him. They can spend the day together so his mate doesn’t have to be alone.’

While another wrote: ‘Surely dearest brother could stay home and cook his beloved mate Christmas dinner? Did that actually occur to any of you?’

Someone else said: ‘Your brother should be hosting and cooking for his friend then.’ 

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