A British mother has sparked debate online after she said her husband ‘acts like a second child’ in the family while she is left to do everything.
The anonymous woman, from the UK, shared on Mumsnet that she was ‘going mad’ because her husband, 50, of 20 years takes no interest in anything outside work and takes no responsibility for any family duties.
She also explained how he referred to her £50k salaried job as ‘vanity work’, adding: ‘Everything comes from me. Complete and utter apathy on everything. Can’t see it getting better at all. Feel very sad. Don’t feel like I have a partner, just a second child.’
Many others were left stunned by his comments, with one commenting: ‘He’s not going to change, question is whether you love him/your life enough to stay.’
A British mother has sparked debate online after she said her husband ‘acts like a second child’ in the family while she is left to do everything – and while some encouraged her to ‘reconsider’ her marriage, others suggesting she was ‘moaning over nothing’
The British mother explained she met her husband as a university student, with both going on to have successful careers before she took a break to have her son.
She said she had been working part-time for five years in a ‘sometimes’ demanding job’ where her salary was £50,000.
However she also revealed she had been left doing many of the household tasks, and admin in their life.
The mother-of-one explained her husband takes no responsibility or anything outside of work or in family life.
Her post on Mumsnet admitted they earned ‘quite a bit of money’ and can pay for extra help but she felt ‘lonely in her marriage because she felt like she didn’t have a partner’ and he was ‘like her second child’
She went on to make a list of responsibilities she she has to deal with, with him avoiding most.
She said: ‘I will caveat but saying that DH (Darling Husband) has a good job and earns quite a bit of money.
‘I work part time: good professional job, not as well paid. Job gets referred to, by DH, as a ‘vanity job’.
‘Took time out – from work – when DS (Darling Son) was younger and I think that hasn’t helped things.
Most Mumsnet users took offense to her husband called her job a ‘vanity job’, with many saying she should reconsider their marriage
‘Because of DH’s job, we can buy in quite a lot of help (cleaner, someone to help with the garden – not enough though, handymen occasionally).
‘BUT DH takes no responsibility for/ interest in anything outside of work and his sports or hobbies.’
The wife added her husband was born overseas and his father is very similar, and very wealthy while his mother ‘does not work.’
Some were stunned by her husband’s comments, with one writing: ‘I do not like your H (husband) referring to your part time job outside the home as a ‘vanity job’, that’s a red flag re him right there. He also seems very much like his own father.’
However other users suggested she was ‘moaning’ and said she was ‘complaining about nothing’
Another added: ‘What does your son think of his father?. And of you for putting up with this from his dad?
‘What do you want to teach your child about relationships and what is he learning here.’
Another user said:’ Sounds like you are single living within the confines of a marriage!’
While one posted: ‘He’s not going to change, question is whether you love him and your life enough to stay.’
Another added: ‘OP, does this man have any redeeming features? I would not be with someone who treated me like this.’
The British woman explained that she felt ‘overwhelmed and lonely’ despite their comfortable situation
However others said she was complaining over ‘nothing’, with one adding: ‘You are married to a high earner, you only work PT, you can afford to outsource the cleaning, gardening and DIY.
‘And you are moaning about having to arrange a holiday by yourself?’
However the mother-of-one hit back, saying: ‘I am juggling a job (4 days a week), plus everything else. It feels like a massive mental load and I think that is the thing: the mental load. Just absolutely no help in thinking about anything in life.’
She explained: ‘Part of me wonders about giving up my career and being a full housewife again, but that really does limit my options and independence.’
Eventually the mother of one said she was weary with life, knackered and felt like she had another child