I’ve never been a coffee person, always opting instead for water, juice or fizzy drinks
I really envy people who enjoy coffee. There are countless times I’ve been on ‘coffee dates’ or visited someone’s home only to leave my companion aghast when I ask for a Diet Coke.
I’ve never been one for hot drinks at all actually, always favouring water, juice or fizzy drinks over a cup of tea or coffee. On paper, I should be a coffee lover: I have a toddler, a hectic schedule, frequent late nights and a partner whose Mastermind specialist subject would undoubtedly be coffee. But even during the numerous sleep regressions that made up my daughter’s first year, I never once turned to coffee.
Over the years, I’ve attempted a tiny sip here and there, only to be instantly repelled by the taste. I don’t like milk either. But I decided to give the drink a proper go. When I queried my coffee-drinking mates and colleagues about which coffee I should try, they unanimously recommended a flat white, which is essentially a latte but with a higher ratio of espresso to milk.
Maybe choosing Pausa, Dunelm’s in-store cafe, as the place to buy my first coffee was an error. Granted, there are likely superior places to purchase coffee, but I found myself in Dunelm with two coffee enthusiasts, so it seemed the logical choice at the time.
Settling down with my coffee (and a glass of water), I felt hopeful; it had an enticing aroma and visually, it was rather appealing. However, as soon as it made contact with my lips, I realised that was where the positives ended.
The overwhelming taste was one of bitterness, so after bravely enduring three sips, I attempted to add some sugar to see if it could be made more enjoyable. Regrettably, it did not improve matters, and I found it even less palatable with the added sweetness.
Hoping a different type of coffee might fare better, I sampled my companion’s cappuccino. This proved no improvement; evidently, my palate is not suited to coffee.
But putting taste aside, I must admit that for a brief period, I felt more alert than I have in years. My eyes were wide open, I was brimming with energy and genuinely felt ready to conquer the world.
Unfortunately, the effects of five sips can only last so long, and 15 minutes later I returned to feeling merely human, and exceedingly tired.
Upon reflection of my experience, I decided to give it another go the following day. This time, I chose a local independent coffee shop and ordered a mocha, hoping the addition of chocolate might temper the harshness of the coffee and milk enough for me to bear it.
After allowing it to cool and accidentally splashing some on my favourite sweatshirt, I tentatively took my first sip and was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed the flavour. I’m not a hot drink consumer, so hot chocolate is typically off the table for me, but the blend of coffee and chocolate somehow hit the spot.
I polished off the entire cup, and am eager to order a coffee on my next outing, though it may be some time before I attempt a flat white again. Iced frappuccino, anyone?