If you go out for someone’s birthday, would you expect them to pay because they invited you? One woman has been left upset after her friends accused her of being ‘rude’ after they were left with the bill
Every country has different traditions, and every person has different viewpoints but most of us have been raised with good manners. That is to say, if it’s someone’s birthday and they invite you out, you expect to be paying for yourself and probably buying them a drink at the very least.
However, one woman was left mortified after her friends informed her that they would need notice next she invited them out after going “over budget” due to unexpected spending. Sharing the story on social media and asking for feedback, the 20-year-old wrote: “Last week was my birthday. I invited around 8 people to go out to dinner with me to celebrate, including my friend Alyssa.”
The birthday girl had a great time with her pals and thought that everyone had gone home happy. She continued: “The next morning, I received a text from Alyssa letting me know that in the future, they would appreciate me letting them know they would have to pay for themselves.
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“They said it was fine since it had already been done, but that spending on dinner out had put them over budget. They also told me that some of our friends felt the same and that they had been talking about it, saying they felt it was a ‘little rude.’
“Although they didn’t seem extremely mad, it’s been somewhat tense whenever we all hang out. I get the vibe that Alyssa now views me as somewhat selfish, or a bad friend. Was it on me as a host to cover for everyone?
“In my culture, everyone just splits the bill or pays for their own meals, but maybe I am wrong for assuming everyone would agree. I do feel guilty because I would never want my celebration to put someone in a bad place financially, and I don’t want our friendship to be awkward now.”
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People reading the Reddit post were quick to side with the birthday girl and assure her she wasn’t in the wrong. One person replied: “No way! Birthday person doesn’t pay for themselves where I am. So technically, bad friends you have there according to me.” And another user agreed, adding: “When I go out with my friends for a birthday meal we pay for the birthday person. I actually think they were rude for expecting you to pay for your part of the bill on your birthday.”
However, someone else offered: “I think it depends on how the invitation is phrased. There are times when the party host picks up the tab.”
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