A woman suspects her husband is being ‘shady’ because he keeps making ‘inappropriate jokes’ about one of his colleagues and talks to her every day – even when they’re not at work
We all know that cheating is wrong, but what about when it’s “emotional” infidelity?
One woman has accused her husband of being “shady” and keeping secrets from her after she noticed he was getting close to a female colleague. The woman doesn’t believe her husband is physically cheating on her, but claimed she has seen “flirty” text messages between the two where he made “inappropriate jokes”.
The woman initially told her husband his actions were “bang out of order” and he told her he’d create more of a boundary, but “a while” later he’s still just as close to her – and even messages her when the pair aren’t at work.
In a post on Mumsnet, the woman fumed: “My husband has a female friend at work that he is close to. They call on Zoom, often text outside of work, and meet up for lunch (only during work hours apparently). She is also married with kids and is very attractive.
“I have seen some messages and they seem flirty. He’s bragged about his baggage size and joked about her fancying him although she’s never said she has. I told him it was bang out of order and he said it was harmless, but that he would create more boundaries with her. This was a while back now.
“Recently, she’s been off sick for a while and he messages her regularly and calls her up at least once a week, and their conversations last over an hour sometimes. He’s telling me to relax and that he’s doing nothing wrong, that they’re good friends and as I also have male friends, I should be more understanding.”
The woman asked for advice from other Mumsnet users as she said she felt as though her husband was “gaslighting” her and denying that he “has feelings for this woman”. She added: “I don’t know what else to suggest to him and feel like he’s somehow attached and this isn’t normal friendship behaviour with a colleague. Is he being shady or am I extra?”
Commenters on the post were quick to accuse her husband of “emotional cheating”, with many of them telling her to be firm in requesting he set a boundary – and to ditch him if he refuses. One person said: “It’s very disrespectful behaviour, there is no need for him to carry this on knowing it’s bothering you. Tell him to stop this friendship or lose his wife.”
Another added: “This is an emotional affair and it won’t be long before a physical one starts if it hasn’t already. They are already halfway there because they’ve created an emotional connection between them. They are emotionally invested in each other and this is incredibly disrespectful to their spouses.”
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