A struggling mum-of-one was dismayed to learn her husband wants to try for another baby as she says their four-year-old son has already left her life in complete tatters
A stressed-out mum has opened up about a side of parenting that often goes undiscussed – after her husband revealed he wanted to try for another baby.
The 36-year-old mum was dismayed after learning of her husband’s wishes, which couldn’t be any further removed from her own. She herself has so far loathed parenting and describes it as being the most ‘excruciating and painful years’ she’s ever experienced.
The parent, who wishes to stay anonymous, went on to admit that she ‘absolutely cannot stand’ her four-year-old son, who she regards as more of ‘an annoying younger brother’ than a much longed-for child. The thought of bringing another life into the world, therefore, fills her with dread rather than excitement, but she doesn’t know how to broach such an extremely difficult topic with her broody other half…
The conflicted mother revealed all in a post on Reddit after her husband started discussing expanding their family. Her post reads: “How do I tell my husband that I absolutely cannot stand our son? Recently my husband has mentioned that he wants another child. Our first child is four and he’s starting to reach that age where he just feels like doing whatever he wants.
“I’ve been on birth control for a few months now to reignite our sex life to try and get things back to normal between us, but my husband had mentioned that I should stop taking my birth control, to which I just answered I wouldn’t.”
She went on to stress that she wanted to be honest with her partner about her feelings but didn’t know how to express them. “I just wanted to be honest and tell him that the four years that we’ve had our son have been the most excruciating, painful years I have ever experienced,” she wrote.
“I’ve had to quit my job because of our son, and most of my friendships have gone to s**t since I’ve had our son. I have no personal time, I can’t enjoy going to the store without worrying that he’ll throw a fit or just be a nuisance in general. I don’t like taking him anywhere at all really, so we just stay at home most of the time.
“Every day alone at home with my son has felt like years. I no longer have any desire to spend time with him, I feel no real attachment to him other than I consider him to be more of an annoying younger brother I have to deal with.”
The mum went on to say she felt as if the child had “ruined” her life as she has no sex life and hardly gets any sleep.
Describing the prospect of having another child as ‘horrible’, she added: “I don’t want another child if it means I have to be a horrible mother all over again. […] So how to I convince him to leave me alone and to allow me to take my birth control in peace?”
More than 260 people on Reddit responded to the woman’s post, with the vast majority concerned for her wellbeing. One person thought it sounded like the woman could be depressed and advised her to speak to a doctor.
Another replied: “Rarely have I wanted more to reach through the internet and hug someone. This is not about a potential future child. This is about the unacknowledged crisis in the life you have already.”
A third thought the woman’s husband should do more, commenting: “Tell your husband you’ll have another kid if he agrees to stay home and be the caregiver for both of them, while you got back to the workforce.”
“This sounds like postpartum depression. When my daughter was four I thought I hated her… I didn’t. She is and was an amazing person. My mental health was not ok and I had never really recovered from pregnancy,” added a different user.
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch
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