A woman is seeking advice after her overbearing in-laws threatened to cut off their own son if she doesn’t allow them to have control of her child – making her worry for her future as a family
A mum has been urged to get a restraining order against her ‘entitled’ mother-in-law who wants full control of her baby. She explained how she has never been close with her in-laws due to their ‘overbearing’ attitude and ‘entitled’ behaviour.
She claims they emotionally manipulate her husband into doing anything and everything they want – and says it has spoilt their first year with their daughter. Taking to Reddit to seek advice, she said: “I have had issue after issue with my in-laws since my baby was born she is now 18 months.
“They wanted alone time with baby, sleepovers when she was a newborn, they wanted unlimited access, visits when they wanted them, take her when they wanted to take her, control of how we parented, they wanted to monopolize our holidays, they wanted to be a part of all of babies firsts and would get upset and offended if we lay down any boundaries.”
Explaining how her in-laws have “unresolved issues” and “unmet expectations” over their involvement in her daughter’s life, she says they act out when they don’t get their way. She added: “They have acted needy and possessive of my daughter but I continued visiting for the sake of the relationship – and trying to maintain peace while also keeping myself and the baby at a safe enough distance.
“But none of it was good enough every single visit they pressured me to take her. I made it clear I wasn’t comfortable every time but they won’t take a hint.” But things finally came to a head when she sent them a text message asking them to stop trying to take her baby away with them as she wasn’t comfortable with it.
She added: “I said let’s just enjoy our visits and holidays together and put our energy towards better things. An hour later they called my husband. My father-in-law spoke first and started off put together and nice but then got creepy and weird and demanded to know who our daughter visited with and who gets to see her and wanted to know who gets to take her to the park.
“Reciting her mother-in-law’s words, she said: ‘Your wife hates me, she doesn’t care about my feelings. Your wife is trying to destroy our family just like she did with her parents. If you don’t see it son you’re blind! She doesn’t talk to her parents or her grandparents.’ (I have a wonderful relationship with my grandparents).
“’She’s unhealthy What you guys are doing is unhealthy. Everyone thinks you are crazy. I’m gonna send your wife’s texts to everyone. You’re selfish. All of you are selfish, all three of you. You just want to keep her (our baby)all to yourselves. You don’t want to share her with anyone.”
“’You aren’t the son I raised. I don’t even know who you are anymore son. I know her and I know she will never let us. She won’t budge. She won’t let us take her no matter how old she is. (Speaking about me not letting them take my baby). What your wife is doing to us is bad!
“’You aren’t a family. We are your family. If you chose your wife and daughter over your mum’s feelings you are gone to me. Done. You guys put your daughter’s feelings over that of your mum and dad! That’s my grandchild you have!
“‘She’s mine and you are keeping her from me. I want five minutes alone with her and you won’t give me that. You gotta give a little. It’s give and take and you need to give. We raised you and loved you unconditionally and now you owe this to us.'”
She says her husband ended up hanging up on his parents before sitting with his thoughts feeling “absolutely deflated”. She said: “They didn’t get what they wanted so she threw a tantrum and basically told my husband he has to choose between me and his baby or giving them what they want which is alone time with her.
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“After that I told him I would never again have myself or my child around his parents. He agreed. His mum then started texting our family and friends trying to get them on her side.” But then, days later, her in-laws got in touch again to invite her husband to golf, acting as if nothing had happened between them.
She added: “They do this to my husband constantly. They act out and then brush it under the rug and act like nothing is wrong. My husband is always confused by it and lets it happen. But I don’t want to do that here!! They can’t just act like this and then expect everything to be fine after, right? Like am I crazy?”
Wanting to know how to best handle this situation, she has taken to social media to ask users for their advice. In response, one user said: “I would speak to a lawyer. These people sound nuts.” Another user added: “Your in-laws sound completely unhinged. They don’t respect you and won’t respect any boundaries you set in the future. Perhaps it’s time to get a restraining order.
A third user said: “You need to nip this in the bud before they start the head games with your kids, they will straight convince your kids that with them is better. No contact for a long while. Your husband can do as he pleases, but you’re thinking of your kids. Stick to your guns, don’t forget… you hold all the cards.”
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