A woman was left furious with her husband after he’d gone ‘AWOL’ on a night out – she is now worried he isn’t interested in being a ‘family man’ and wants to be ‘single’
Communication is key in a relationship, and it’s important that you’re on the same page.
One woman was left confused, however, when her husband refused to communicate with her when he was out with mates. She shared that they have two kids together, one four and one six months, so she was concerned about his “zero contact” style when he was out – from the afternoon until the early hours of the morning.
The woman took to Mumsnet to explain she’d “forgiven him for a lot over the years”, but he’s gone “AWOL” a couple of times in the past few years when “out with mates”. She asked people what they thought about the situation, giving further context to what he’d done.
She penned: “I woke up with the baby in the early hours and he wasn’t home, so I sent a message asking where he was. No reply. Up with baby again about an hour and a half later, again no reply. Tried to call with the next wake up, didn’t pick up. By this point it was about 5.30am – everything would have been closed. He went out in the afternoon.
“If he’d have responded ‘in a bar/at friend’s house, be home later’ or just ANYTHING it would’ve been fine, but it was the ignoring that bothered me. He would’ve just not come home with zero contact if I hadn’t pushed it.
“The next time I woke with baby (we’re both ill with Covid and she’s exclusively breastfeeding, so I’ve done all night feeds for 6 months and am knackered/feeling s**t) I sent a message saying I was locking the front door. Miraculously he responded straight away. He claimed he had been trying to get home for ‘hours’ but his bank cards had been ‘blocked’.
“I told him how upset/angry I was and that he should have just messaged me, etc. etc., and he told me I was ‘locking him out of his home’ and that ‘this is your decision, not mine’ – as if I’m ending the relationship. Feels like he’s trying to push me to leave.”
The woman told him she was “upset”, calling him “irresponsible” because he’s 36 – and his cruel five-word response was “cry me a f**king river”, leaving her floored.
She was wondering “if his story is true”, why would he have ghosted her. “Also, he could’ve gone home with friends who live in the same direction or asked one of them to book him an Uber and pay them back,” she fumed. “Also thinking if it’s true, he’s blown an awful lot of money…Why else would his cards stop working other than the accounts being emptied?”
She said he hadn’t “made an appearance” and she’d had to lie to her eldest child saying he was “having a sleepover with his friend”. When she spoke to her friend, they said “it comes across like he just doesn’t care” about her, or “being a family man”. The woman is now worried he wants the “single lifestyle over his family”.
She said her husband is treating her “worse and worse”, and it’s “heightened” since she went on maternity leave. “I wouldn’t mind as much if this was a one-off, but he’s got form for irresponsible partying-type behaviour and, like I said, has pulled disappearing acts before. But then part of me thinks maybe I am just going crazy and being harsh,” she concluded.
In the comments, people were left baffled about why she was still with him. One wrote: “Get him out, because he’s vile, and enjoy your life.” Another raged: “Overreacting? Hardly. I very rarely say this but I would be thinking very carefully about this relationship. You say you’ve forgiven him a lot over the years. It sounds as if that has encouraged him to behave worse and worse rather than feel grateful for your forbearance.
“Also, I would be very suspicious that he’s not just drinking on these binges […] In short, I’d be keeping that door locked a while and have a hard think.” Someone else fumed: “I’d go f**king mental. I just wouldn’t tolerate this. I’d have his bags packed and on the doorstep awaiting his arrival.”
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