A woman who was sick of her mum trying to be in charge of everything to do with her wedding finally snapped and said she’d had enough of her ‘bulldozing’ behaviour
Planning a wedding should be a really exciting time of your life – and if it’s not, you may need to address what it is that’s bringing you unnecessary stress.
A woman realised that it was her mum causing her drama when things came to an uncomfortable crescendo. She accused her mother of ruining her wedding thanks to her “bulldozing” and “manipulating”.
She said that “what should be a joyful planning process” turned “into a nightmare” thanks to her mum’s behaviour. The woman took to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum to ask whether she was in the wrong for telling her mum she was ruining her wedding. She wrote: “I’m (28F) dealing with my mom’s excessive gift-giving of clothes and her intrusive involvement in my wedding planning.
“When we went shopping, she pushed for a matronly dress that I hated, and dismissed the ones I liked. I eventually chose a dress that everyone, including her, seemed to agree was the most flattering.
“However, the next day she insisted it was too low cut and even showed photos of me in it to her friends at my grandmother’s funeral to get validation. She claimed that they all agreed with her and suggested we go shopping again, which I refused.”
Despite her “clear” refusal, her mum booked another wedding dress appointment, which she found “humiliating”. “She showed zoomed-in photos of my chest to the staff, who graciously assured her that it was not revealing,” she shared.
It didn’t stop there, though, as she said: “In the car leaving the second dress shop she said she was then taking me to shop for rehearsal dinner dresses. I said as politely as possible that I wouldn’t be requiring her services for that, to which she matter of factly stated that she wanted to be involved in picking it out.
“After I flew back home, she began sending rehearsal dinner dress options to my house, none of which suited me and were all returned. Each dress was either not my style or the wrong size. Despite my polite returns and clear communication, she persisted in sending more.
“Recently, I planned a trip back to my parents’ place to pick up my wedding dress, which I couldn’t bring back earlier due to luggage constraints. A day before my flight, my mom texted me that she had booked an alteration appointment for my dress, claiming it needed to fit perfectly and be less revealing.
“I told her that the prior dress shopping experience had been extremely upsetting for me and that I couldn’t handle it again. Her response was dismissive, stating that both dress shopping experiences had been traumatising for her too. At this, I lost it and told her that her constantly bulldozing and manipulating me has ruined my wedding.
“I know my mum genuinely wants to be involved in my life and my wedding, but her constant interference and insistence on her taste over mine are making what should be a joyful planning process into a nightmare – am I the a**hole here?”
In the comments, people reassured her that she’d done nothing wrong, and that she was right to tell her mum to stop being overbearing. One wrote: “You are standing your ground for YOUR wedding. It’s about your taste and preference. There are certainly some compromises to be made, but your wedding dress is important to your experience. Her insistence is really what is making her the a**hole.”
Another shared: “Her mum can make suggestions, but has no actual say…the only need for compromise is between the bride and groom.” Someone else said that the woman was “overdue for boundaries”.
One Redditor wrote: “Like, her mother is clearly the a**hole, but why is the original poster even going along with this stuff? If she’s old enough to get married, she should be old enough to say no to someone. Yikes.”
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