A husband has confessed to how he feels about going on holiday with his wife as he declared, ‘nobody owes it to their spouse to endure 2-3 weeks of annual misery’
Heading off on a summer holiday is usually a time of relaxation and recuperation, spending time with loved ones or simply sitting by the pool with a cocktail. But for one husband, the thought of spending two weeks away with his wife brings ‘annual misery’.
Airing his frustration at his yearly vacation, the husband took to Reddit and declared he was recovering from a “holiday from hell”. In a lengthy post, he explained the situation and noted that it was all because of his wife’s parents. “For the past 4 years, my wife has dragged me on her annual vacation with her in-laws.”
He disclosed: “I’ve gone along on these trips begrudgingly to try please my wife and tried my best to hide my feelings. I hate spending 2.5 weeks holed up with her parents in a place I hate at a rental that her father chooses.
“This year I told her that I didn’t want to go but she told me that the rental was already booked and that pulling out would be a huge snub to her parents. So I find myself using my precious vacation days (again) on a forced ‘family vacation’ that I have no interest in being on.
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“I hate having to listen to her father talk endlessly about his arcane interests while barely acknowledging my presence. I hate the fact that his wife is too shy to say anything. And I hate the suffocating awkwardness and sense of claustrophobia that I feel from the start until the end.
“I’ve tried explaining to my wife it’s not reasonable for her to expect me to come on this excursion annually. And I’ve tried to point out that her parents make it enormously difficult to break the ice (I’ve tried so hard and gotten nothing back. I’ve given up!)
“Yesterday I had a minor meltdown and told my wife how much I’m suffering. She started crying and told me that I’m putting her in an impossible position by forcing her to choose between me and her parents.
“She was upset and I think her parents picked up on that. Now they’re acting even more hostile and passive aggressive.
“I feel a little like I’m being manipulated and gaslit by my wife. And that nobody owes it to their spouse to endure 2-3 weeks of annual misery.”
He ended the post asking fellow Reddit readers for advice on setting boundaries with his in-laws, before noting that his wife had suggested counselling.
Comments flooded in with advice, with one declaring: “Time to lay down the law sir. Tell your wife she can spend as much time as she wants with her family but you will not be joining her. Also mention you will only use your vacation time on things that make you happy.”
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A second suggested: “Give your wife options and one hard and fast rule. I am not going on vacation with your parents any more. Your options are to go alone, stay with me, start making our own traditions.
“It is unreasonable for her to think that she is the only one that gets a say in these matters. Tell her that she needs to think about who she is married to, who she needs to put first. She is an adult. Dad cannot ground her, take away her allowance or force her to stay on the phone and be yelled at.”
A third said: “To the honest I agree with you on feeling that your wife is manipulating and gaslighting you. It’s not fair to you that she is putting her interest ahead of yours and turning you into a meatshield. You shouldn’t be forced to go and feel acutely uncomfortable by her passive-aggressiveness parents.”
One more commented: “She definitely shouldn’t be picking her parents over you. But you need to help her understand that you wouldn’t force her to go on a vacation she hates why is she making you? It’s YOUR family you and her and if you have kids some day. Not you her and her parents.”
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