Suzanne Noble, 64, decided to step away from conventional monogamous relationships as she started exploring her sexuality in her later years, insisting she’s happier than ever
Suzanne Noble talks about her unique setup with her ‘situationship’ in her 60s
For most of us, Sunday is a day of rest. But not for one woman, who says weekend sex with her friend-with-benefits has spiced up her life.
At 64, Suzanne Noble says her little black book is fuller than ever. Since the loss of her long-term partner in 2022 – following the death of another dear partner two decades previously – the mum-of-two has been embracing non-monogamous relationships, and even hosts swinging sessions with like-minded pals.
“I’ve been married, had two children, had long-term relationships,” she says. “But over time, I’ve learned that what really works for me is freedom – freedom with a touch of emotional intimacy, but not something that’s going to be emotionally draining.”
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Suzanne, a singer from north-west London, met her current sexual partner – who she calls her “situationship” – on a hook-up website in 2023. “We had Sunday lunch, very traditional,” she jokes. “Then we went back to my place. There was this mutual recognition that, yeah, this was going to be good.”
Over two years, their connection has grown – not into a conventional relationship, but into a mostly physical one. “He’s met some of my friends. He comes to my singing gigs. We’ve gone on holiday together. We talk during the week. But we both value our independence. We meet up, we have fun, and then we go back to our own lives.”
The pair are not exclusive – and that’s fine by Suzanne. “I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone else, and I don’t care. We connect physically, and we care about each other, but we don’t need to put each other in boxes.”
Suzanne practises ‘ethically non-monogamous’ relationships – a dynamic that allows her to separate her emotional needs from physical ones, and to engage with people in ways that are consensual and flexible.
And it’s been freeing to acknowledge that one person can’t solely meet all her needs. “My best friend is an ex-boyfriend, and with him I have a deep emotional connection. There’s no physical intimacy, but I get a lot of my emotional needs met by him,” she explains. “Physically, I don’t need a one-size-fits-all relationship.”
Above all, Suzanne values her independence. “I go away every winter to Gran Canaria for the sunshine. I didn’t want something that would weigh heavily on me. I enjoy the space to live life on my terms,” she says.
She also shares time with another couple she met at a naturist village in France. “We’re friends first – we go round to eat, chat, and occasionally we have fun,” she says. “There’s no pressure. Just openness.” Suzanne is a naturist who often visits beaches and spots across the UK where nudism is allowed.
“From a body positive point of view, it’s very liberating,” she grins. “I really enjoy it. It attracts an older crowd.”
Safety, she adds, is a vital part of her lifestyle that she takes seriously – more so, in her view, than among many people in monogamous relationships.
“In my experience, people who are in the lifestyle take safety very seriously. Testing, communication, condom use – it’s just part of it. I find people more careful, more respectful.”
Suzanne credits her parents – who have been married for over 65 years – for giving her an unconventional example of healthy independence within a relationship.
“My mum’s incredibly independent. She goes off and does her own thing. They’ve always respected each other’s space. That gave me a model that said, ‘It’s okay to have separate parts of your life.’”
For Suzanne, that includes sharing her unique lifestyle online, whether it’s on TikTok chatting to her community of more than 150,000 followers, or speaking on her podcast Sex Advice for Seniors.
With one in 25 Britons saying they’d experienced polyamory in a recent survey, and a further one in 14 admitted they’d be open to exploring it, Suzanne represents a shift in how relationships are changing.
And while she loves her way of living now, Suzanne has experienced her fair share of heartbreak in the past. One partner died aged 44 from liver cancer after battling with alcohol addiction for years when Suzanne was in her early 40s.
“I had only just got divorced and met someone who was a larger than life, very colourful, very charismatic man. I knew he was battling with addiction issues, but I got swept up and it was all quite exciting,” she recalls.
After grieving the loss of her partner, Suzanne eventually managed to move on and met someone else in 2018. “We were having a nice time together,” she explains.
“He was very limited in sexual experiences and eventually, because of my desire to travel, he wasn’t in a position to be able to do so, we split. But we still saw each other as we co-owned a building in my garden that we worked from.”
In 2022, Suzanne found out he had been diagnosed with bowel cancer. “I was around for the whole process because we had become close friends by that point. It was very tragic.”
Suzanne thinks it was those losses that spurred on her new way of viewing relationships, protecting her from more potential heartbreak. “I’ve broken loads of hearts,” she admits, adding that she would never again move a man in.
“I’m clear with people what kind of person I am. Even in a relationship I was in where it was monogamous, I wanted to only see this particular person on the weekends, they wanted to move in. And they did move in during Covid, and it was a disaster.
“But in terms of this way of living, I find it a lot more honest than long-term relationships. I know a lot of women who are very romantic and they like the security and the grand gestures, and that’s great but it’s not necessary.”
And her children are fully supportive of her way of living – although they follow more traditional routes. “My children have been around me for long enough that they are accepting of them, it’s not their kind of thing,” she explains.
But she urges everyone to question how satisfied they really are with their sex lives as they get older. “Do you want to be monogamous? Do you want something traditional? That’s totally valid,” she says. “But you should know that you have options. You can have love, sex, fun – whatever you want – on your own terms, at any age.
“It’s so important for older people to know that they can still enjoy sexual pleasure and shape their relationships however they want.”
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