The heartbreaking results of a DNA test have ‘shattered’ the world of Jay Skibbens, a co-parenting life coach who has shared the moment that turned life upside down
A father of two toddlers sent off a DNA test – and the results have shattered his world. Jay Skibbens mailed off two DNA kits when his two sons were just 15 and 30 months old respectively. He had suspected he was not their biological father – and a heartbreaking result soon followed.
Skibbens, 37, a co-parent life coach, had his whole world changed when he discovered he was not the father of the two children. After a year of anger, Skibbens decided to turn the DNA results in his favour and became a co-parenting coach. He even went on to attend the wedding of his ex-partner.
His appearance at the wedding may have surprised some, but Skibbens has explained why he attended in a post to his Instagram.
He said: “Despite carrying YEARS of anger, resentment and betrayal, I didn’t have to fake a single thing. I felt justified in aiming all those emotions at HER for YEARS because my story was that she lied to me about the boys being mine when they aren’t mine biologically.
“And everyone I told backed me up, I was the good guy and she was the bad guy. But that justification kept me looking at her, blaming her and expecting HER to change. It kept me STUCK. For years I THOUGHT I was angry at her.”
He added: “It turns out the real anger I had to deal with was being angry with myself. I just never had learned how to process those emotions in a healthy way.
“And the rest of the emotions were mine…about me…waiting to be felt and process by ME. So I had to heal ME. Forgive ME. Accept MY part in how things went.” Skibbens has since suggested it was his children who benefitted the most from his transitional role…
“In the end, it was the BOYS who benefited the most. I learned how to handle transition days better. I learned how to handle my own emotions better. I yelled less. I played more. I relaxed and I watched how it helped THEM relax too.”
Many have praised Skibbens’ maturity and decision to put his loved ones first. One comment reads: “This is amazing! I love this! Congrats to you both for working through making co-parenting work AND to the new blended family!!”
Skibbens has since spoken to Newsweek about letting go of his anger towards his wife, and the heartbreaking moment he received the DNA test results.
He said: “Finding out … completely shattered me. It also broke into a million pieces the definition I had of being a dad. I really questioned whether I was a dad anymore.”
Skibbens has confirmed he is now the primary parent to his two sons, now aged nine and 11. He said: “I’ve literally been able to create from a blank canvas.
“And that’s the ultimate freedom, while, at the same time, it has required me to decide for myself each step of the way whether what I was doing was right or enough.”
