The relationships expert revealed the common phrases people say when they don’t want to commit to a partner
A dating coach has revealed what people are likely to tell you if they don’t want to commit to a relationship. Sharing tips on TikTok, Kimberly Rae (@kimberlyrae.life) shared the advice for her 190,000 followers. In her video, she explained the ‘things people say when they don’t want commitment.’
Kimberly said: “I bet you’ve heard all these before. Ready? You don’t wanna date me. I’m in a weird place right now. I’m not ready for something serious. I like to go with the flow. I’m still figuring things out for myself. I’m not sure what I want. You’re way too good for me.”
She said: “You get the gist. They will use these statements to preface their inconsistent investment, mixed signals, and ultimately abrupt exit.” She continued: “This will be the shield they hide behind when they say, well, I told you from the beginning, XYZ, someone that’s pursuing commitment knows it from the start and is clear about it because they don’t want to waste their time if you’re not pursuing the same.
“And I don’t want to hear, well, Kimberly, some people are in a weird place and just figuring things out and eventually do want commitment. Sure, that’s fine. But someone that wants commitment with you is not prefacing the connection with any of this stuff.
“You think someone intentionally pursuing you would warn you that they’re not ready? No. Don’t passively accept this. Passive daters get passive results.”
In another video, Kimberly shared ‘three things that tell me you’re a placeholder connection that you’re not trained to look out for.’ She explained: “1. There’s no pattern to their communication with you.
“Their texts are sporadic, and they seem to reach out at random times, and they’re usually the ones that stop responding first. Clearly, they have control over the communication, and it’s all on their terms. That’s how you show up when someone’s an afterthought, like, eh, let’s see what they’re up to.”
Kimberly continued: “2. Communication is surface-level and centred around them. They’re not intentionally pulling information from you or asking you deeper questions. They’re not trying to figure out who you are. Everything they know might be information that you’ve offered to them.”
She added: “3. There’s no planning in advance. You get a lot of day of reach-outs because they’re operating with how they feel in the moment rather than consistently pursuing you, which is why it feels very hot and cold.”
The expert shared a clear message for people dealing with a similar situation, as she urged them to take action. “Please don’t be someone’s placeholder. Cut this out,” she said.
Responding to the video, one person said: “You are literally spot on every single time.” Another viewer said: “Thank you for the clarity. I didn’t see these things together.” Someone else said: ” That third one!!! Thank you for clarifying what I already knew.”
