A woman who was caught having some X-rated alone time by her husband after telling him she had ‘no sex drive’ has been left fearing their relationship is over due to his lack of trust
A woman is worried her marriage may be over after she was caught having some X-rated alone time by her husband.
The pair have been married for a decade and have two children together – but since they were born her sex drive has “nose dived,” according to her admission on Mumsnet. The woman confessed: “We probably have sex on average once a week, I’d be happy with less and this is a compromise. He would like a lot more. I’ve explained that I don’t have much of a sex drive at the moment but he doesn’t get it.”
She added that her lack of libido has left her husband pondering if she still loves him – and now their relationship has taken a turn for the worse after he walked in on her. “Last night he caught me masturbating and he is absolutely furious, properly LIVID,” she continued. “He was shouting in my face that I’m a liar and that we are done.”
The woman said her husband now believes she does want to have sex – just not with him. However, she went on to explain: “Wanting a bit of a dopamine hit and stress relief does not mean that I wanted to have sex. Touching myself is not comparable to being touched by someone else.”
After being “blanked” ever since the episode, the woman fears their relationship could now be over – particularly after her husband appeared to be “adamant” he’s “had it” with her. “I just can’t believe that this might be the thing that breaks up our family,” she closed, prompting differing opinions in Mumsnet’s Relationships forum.
“I lived with this but the other way round for years,” one woman confessed before offering a pessimistic outlook. “It felt like a betrayal and a rejection that he couldn’t have sex with me but would masturbate regularly alone. Our marriage was doomed.”
Another penned: “It’s sad that he doesn’t understand you after 10 years together – that you’re an introvert and struggle with having children pawing at you all the time which I do understand. And to make someone feel guilty about masturbation (rather than a porn addiction) is not right either.”
Others were quick defend the husband, however, with some telling the woman she needs to be honest with herself. “Reverse the genders and think what would you reply If this was a man doing this,” a third woman explained. “It’s horrible. I fully understand your husband’s frustration. You obviously have sex drive just not for him. I’m sorry but I am with him on this one.”
A second person concurred: “Your husband wants and desires more sex, he’s not in the wrong there and once a week isn’t enough for him and he’s not wrong there either, once a week wouldn’t be enough for me either. Him wanting to have sex with his wife doesn’t make him a needy deviant with sex issues.”
The woman later returned to the post, meanwhile, expressing her gratitude and clarifying the potential way forward. “Thanks for the comments everyone, I appreciate the different points of view,” she wrote.
“My life would be a lot easier if I had sex with him as often as he wanted but I can’t do it. The tank would be empty, other areas of my life would suffer, I would feel stressed and unhappy. We need to have big conversation and I can only hope that the anger has passed and he listens. I’ve tried to explain about being touched out before and the whole concept was bizarre to him.”
