A woman has been left heartbroken after discovering her boyfriend of two years is a catfish who lied about his age before ‘ghosting’ her when he grew tired of their conversations
A woman has shared her heartache after discovering her boyfriend of two years “literally doesn’t exist”. She explained how she met her boyfriend on social media after sharing a post about how she finds ‘nerds’ attractive.
Soon after, she received a direct message from a man who claimed to be everything she was searching for in a partner. She said on Reddit : “He literally messaged me saying he was a nerd and he showed some photos. I found him adorable and started to like him. His post history said he was lonely and had two abusive exes. He’d also made a post saying he wants to curl into a ball and give up because he felt like nobody would ever love him and he hated how his face looked. He also said in one of his posts that his therapist said he was an abuser trying to look like the victim.
The pair started messaging each other every single day – with her saying he gets “super worried” if she went even a few minutes without responding to his messages. He kept posting photos of himself posed like he was hugging me, and told me to imagine myself in the empty space.
“He loved showing me his collection of action figures and comics. We exchanged voice messages and I posted selfies. He’d always compliment each one,” she said. But after a while, he started ‘ghosting’ her – not responding to her messages – making her wonder what she’d done wrong.
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She said: “We spoke all day every day and then after a while it was like he wasn’t smiling in his selfies anymore, and his eyes looked dead. Now it’s like he doesn’t want to speak to me. He’ll ghost me all day and then say he’s sorry for not responding because he’s busy with rougher work hours, but even on days when he’s free he doesn’t message me until really late at night before bed or he doesn’t message me at all and I have to message him first or he doesn’t.
“He also started completely ignoring any selfies or voice messages I sent him.” Worried about his behaviour, her friend encouraged her to look him up online to check whether he’s a ‘real person’, considering they’ve never met face-to-face.
She said: “She told me to try and look up official records on him. I know his first and last name, his birth year, month and day, and also where he lives. He’s posted photos of himself at work, in college classes, and also posted videos of himself talking while in his car, but those videos never show his face.
“I searched his name on several lookup sites and couldn’t find any exact matches. The closest match was a man with his first and last name living in the same smallish town, except the man was 43 years old, not 23.
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“My friend looked at the photos of him as a toddler that he’d sent me and she immediately had a weird expression pointing out that the cot in the picture looked very old fashioned and the picture looked as though it was taken in the eighties, not the noughties at all.
“We even tried Ancestry, and the people with the same first and last name who were born in the year he told me he was born in were either people who didn’t live where he told me where he lived, or they were dead people. To test the reliability of these sites, my friend looked up herself and she immediately found herself.”
Commenting on her post, one user said: “This is why you should always ask to videochat with their face visible, when meeting someone online.” Another user added: “Why on earth would you spend two years dating someone never met in real life?”
A third user said: “This is why it’s not wise to call someone a girlfriend or boyfriend who you’ve never met in person or even seen in a video chat. Online relationships are never real, and this is the reason. You just never know who’s on the other side of the keyboard.”
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