A mother to a two year old boy is now in an awkward position as the wife of her baby’s father wants to meet her and the child to discuss the affair she had with her husband
A woman who had a baby with a married man is now in a tricky situation as the ex-wife of her former married boyfriend wants to meet, and to meet the love child.
In a lengthy post on Reddit, she’s revealed how accidentally falling pregnant with a married man has come with added complications. With the ex-wife of her former lover now reaching out and wanting a meeting, as well as for her son to meet his half siblings, the once simple love affair now feels infinitely more complicated.
In her Reddit post, she writes: “I (F, 26) had an affair with a married man (M, 42) a few years ago. I had no clue he was married when we first met and hooked up. I obviously looked him up on social media and while he did have photos of his kids on there, there was absolutely no mention or photos of a wife at all. I found out that he was married about a month after we first got together, but he told me it was just a marriage on paper and that they basically lived separate lives and agreed to remain married for practical purposes until the kids were older. They owned a business, which she really ran and he was just financially involved in.
“I knew at the time that I probably shouldn’t believe him, but I convinced myself it was true. I was in my early 20s and so attracted to him and I guess almost infatuated with him. He made me feel so good. I know now that I should have ended it immediately, but I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I was addicted to all of the attention he gave me, the great sex, the places he’d take me. I felt special. I was so naive.”
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Soon into dating her married boyfriend, she discovered she was pregnant and whilst she’d actively been trying to be safe during sex she’d still ended up with child. She added: “I was in love with him, or I thought I was. I hadn’t intentionally wanted to get pregnant. I would of course dream about being his wife and having a family but I knew that wouldn’t be a possibility while he had this arrangement with his actual wife. I didn’t get pregnant on purpose with any intention of him leaving her for me, even if I wished that we could be a real, normal couple. I was surprised by how excited I was to be pregnant with his baby. I wanted that baby once I found out I was pregnant. The thought of carrying this baby of the man I loved was so special to me, but I knew he probably wouldn’t feel the same.”
She then explains how the married man she was sleeping with wanted her to terminate the pregnancy, and whilst they were planning to do it, she later got cold feet and decided to keep the baby and raise it alone. She explained: ” I texted him to say I promised to never contact him again and to never name him as the father or go after child support if he’d promise to leave me alone. At first he tried to sweet talk me into doing what he wanted. When I didn’t cave in, he said some very nasty things to me and that I essentially better never contact him again or show up at his door.”
Now the woman is mother to a two year old boy and has remained no contact with his father and led a very separate life, until his wife reached out and wanted to speak to her. “She wants to talk to me. She found out about me and told me that she divorced him 6 months ago,” she writes. “She wants her children to know their sibling and for my child to know his siblings. That’s weird to me.”
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Reddit users have been quick to share their advice as one posted: “OP are you sure this is truly his ex-wife contacting you? Could it be him using her account (or fake account) to initiate contact with you for some twisted reason! Please be careful and make wise decisions if/when agreeing to meet this woman and her kids! I know you want to do the right thing, just be very careful!”
Another urged: “So many people telling you to go for it for the sake of the child and possible child support, but I would say that you have good instincts which served you well. Don’t ignore them now. You are leading a happy life with your child. You have survived so far without his financial help. Letting her and the children into your lives will be inviting him back into your life too.
“You also don’t know what her intentions are OR if it is even her who is contacting you. No matter what, it will be inviting him back into your life in some way. He made you feel unsafe and wanted you to get rid of your child. He also abandoned you and your child. He cheated on his wife and kids for a long time- he is NOT a good guy. I would say, keep him out of your life. Continue as you are.”
“Since she knows and is divorced now, I would summon him for child support. Ask for a DNA test. The money is for your child, your child deserves it,” suggested a third.
However some had much more blunt advice as one user simply wrote: “Ugh, what a mess. Don’t have affair babies people.” Which another person added to as they posted: “Don’t have affairs. period.”
Another agreed as they replied to the post: “What did she think was going to happen? Even after he revealed he was married… she still kept going and is now shocked about this? Like dude you created this situation. Feel for the kid though, mess all around.”
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