A woman has responded to accusations of being ‘selfish’ for having her first child at 48, saying there are so many positives to older parenting. When Rene Byrd first cradled her baby boy, Crue, she felt a sense of completeness in her life.
The Londoner battled infertility for years before choosing to pursue IVF, a journey that cost more than £20,000. But Rene’s journey didn’t stop other parents from judging her choice to become a mum later in life.
The singer-songwriter faced harsh ‘jokes’ following the revelation of her childbirth and has even lost a friend over the ordeal. While this certainly stung, Rene has now chosen to ignore the negativity and embrace parenthood.
“I had people making [say things like], ‘You’ll be old when your child grows up’,” she told NeedToKnow. “People have told me it’s selfish. They say it jokingly, but you know they’re not joking. It can make you feel guilty, but I just want to be the best mum I can be.
“You do question yourself – am I too old? Some people in my life dropped off after I had [my son]. I have a friend I don’t even see anymore. Some relationships dissolved.”
Rene had always envisioned becoming a mother, but life unfolded differently than expected. By chance, she met her now-husband, 42-year-old American attorney Demetrious, in a London bar.
Mindful of her biological clock, the couple began their attempts to conceive in 2017 when Rene turned 40. They even invested approximately £2,000 in Chinese herbal treatments and fertility tonics in an effort to boost her odds of success.
However, after a year of trying, Rene realised that starting a family wouldn’t be as easy as she’d hoped. “We tried to conceive naturally, but my age was always a factor,” she continued.
“The panic starts to set in – you realise time is slipping away. I spent a couple of grand on different tonics overseas – anything that looked like it could help.
“It was getting me down. I knew my window was closing. Eventually, I accepted that it probably wasn’t going to happen without some assistance.”
The couple eventually chose to pursue IVF to begin their ideal family. They dedicated several years to researching treatments and clinics before making the decision.
Although Rene referred to the procedure as ‘draining’, she was happy to learn of her pregnancy in April 2024. The news came just months after the couple’s wedding.
She went on: “I went in that morning, and the lady from the clinic started crying. I thought it was bad news, but they were happy tears. She told me, ‘You’re pregnant.’ I cried my eyes out.
“That was just the beginning of the journey. I’ve always wanted children – the real challenge was finding the right person to have them with. All around me, my friends were having babies.
“I was always at baby showers and christenings. I’ve been a godmother to so many kids. I had a vision board with a little boy on it. In my heart, I always longed to hold a baby that was mine.”
After a pregnancy marked by severe nausea and fluctuating hormones, Crue was delivered by C-section on November 28 last year. Despite the criticism that’s come since, Rene stressed she wouldn’t change a thing.
“There are so many positives to having a child later in life,” she said. “I’m more financially stable, more patient, and I’ve lived a full life. I feel more in control, more confident. “I’ve spent years around friends’ kids, reading, learning.
“I’m in a completely different headspace. You do get that twinge of guilt when you think about being older, but it’s nobody’s business. You have to live your own life in your own time.”
