A woman said her husband is ‘ruining’ their marriage with his hobby, as it takes him out of the house and means she has to do everything – making her feel like she’s ‘drowning’
Having time to yourself is important, but don’t let your hobbies take over the other important parts of your life.
We should all make time in our lives to do the things we love. Whether you have a sports group you attend each week or an arts and crafts hobby which lets you escape it all, it can do wonders for our mental health to make time for ourselves. However, that doesn’t mean you can neglect the other aspects of your life.
One mum said her husband’s obsession with his hobby has been “destroying” her marriage, as he spends so much time out of the house and away from his family that it leaves her to do all the chores and look after their two kids.
In a post on Mumsnet, the woman didn’t mention what her husband’s hobby is, but said it takes him out of the house for two to three evenings every week, and can sometimes even mean he’s away for a full day of the weekend.
This means she is left responsible for the housework, meal prep, shopping, and organising their kids’ after-school activities. The mum said this behaviour isn’t “new”, but she’s reached a point where she now feels as though she’s “drowning”. But when she brought it up to her husband, she was told she was being “unreasonable”.
She shared: “He’ll do chores if I ask when he’s here but if the house is in a state or there’s washing piling up, he never takes initiative to help. I’m absolutely drowning. I brought it up tonight again and was flabbergasted at his response. He doesn’t think the amount he’s out is excessive. So I’m starting to wonder if I’m being unreasonable.
“I have a hobby which takes me out for 90 mins once a fortnight. But I don’t always get to that if he’s not home from work in time. This isn’t new this year, it’s been like this for years, but I’m just worn down more than ever. I really don’t want to tear the family apart but I feel I’d be happier on my own with the kids.”
Commenters on the post were firmly on the mum’s side, with many telling her that her husband is being unfair. Most said the woman should suggest changing roles for a week and see how he gets on, knowing he would struggle without any help from her – just like she is now.
One person said: “You should sit down and put a schedule together where you are out as much as he is, so 2-3 evenings and one full weekend day. See how he copes.”
Another added: “The problem is he’s not pulling his weight in the house or with the kids and expects you to pick up the slack. He needs to realise you’re BOTH entitled to time off for yourselves and at the moment it’s only him that’s getting it! He’s massively taking the p**s. Tell him you’re not doing it any more and that you need to sit down and work out a fairer division of labour and free time.”
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