Belinda Coniglio was thrilled to have a baby in her 40s after told she wouldn’t be able to conceive. But a family fallout over her wish for a natural birth soured her joy
Belinda Coniglio was overjoyed when she fell pregnant but says her birth choices saw her branded a ‘murderer’ by relatives.
The lawyer had been told she wouldn’t be able to conceive naturally due to her pituitary tumour, a brain tumour that starts in the pituitary gland behind the eye. So she was shocked and overjoyed when she fell pregnant in 2022, aged 41.
Belinda, from Perth, Australia, wanted a natural birth with as few interventions as possible so was distressed when she went into labour and was advised to have an induction, followed by a caesarean. She set up a WhatsApp chat with her loved ones to share her baby’s impending arrival but was horrified to receive severe criticism in return.
One message suggested Belinda was risking her baby’s life if she continued to push for a natural birth while another shocking note went further and said she would be a ‘murderer’ if her baby died. The new mum went onto experience further upset when two of her friends walked into her birthing ward when she was being examined. Feeling vulnerable, she had to ask them to leave.
Belinda’s baby Jacinta-Rose was later born by caesarean and is now 16 months old and thriving. She says she has never received an apology for the cruel messages she received.
“I want to share these texts because as difficult as they are for me to read, I feel sharing them conveys their severity and raises awareness of the impact of cyberbullying,” said the business consultant. “Even though there is no legal recourse for the harm caused, imagine the impact of similar scenarios on teen children if they affect me – an ordinarily resilient adult lawyer – so much.
“These texts bring so many difficult memories back, that I struggle to read them even now.” Despite her traumatic experiences, Belinda says she has forgiven the family members who sent the messages in her heart, even though they have never said sorry.
“I was prepared to move forward with receipt of an apology shortly after the birth however as this was not forthcoming, I moved on,” she said. “In my heart, I have forgiven the behaviour of these people as they could not possibly have imagined the impact of their actions.
“It is a shame that they could not apologise or understand when I communicated to them how it made me feel. That said, I don’t have time for such energy to consume me.”
As for her friends, Belinda says one pal sent a text saying she was ‘here for me’ but neither apologised for walking in when she was being examined. “When I bumped into them later, I was polite and had little else to say,” she said. “We had all moved on.”
