A trend has been doing the rounds on TikTok where couple shares each others “icks”. But, according to a dating expert, you should never point out your partner’s flaws
TikTok encourages us to make all sorts of fun videos – but one particular trend may prove dangerous.
Some couples have been revealing each others “icks” – AKA the things that turns them off about each other – and it’s led to some pretty candid confessions. Whether you don’t like snoring or hate the way they eat – all sorts of “problems” have been pointed out in the viral videos.
But one dating expert said it may do more harm than good to point out your partner’s flaws, and the reason why may shock you. Relationship expert and sex therapist, Dr Melissa Cook at FunWithFeet and Sofia Gray, said exposing some home truths could be very problematic.
In fact, it could lead to the total demise of your relationship if things go too far. According to Dr Cook, pointing out the issues could land you in some serious bother.
The expert said: “The TikTok trend where couples share their icks and react to each other’s annoyances and dislikes might seem harmless at first, but it could actually have a negative effect on your relationship. Highlighting negatives can create a culture of criticism and resentment, and impact our ability to communicate effectively.
“By focusing on what irritates us, couples could begin to overlook the positive qualities in their relationship. A healthy relationship requires a balance between identifying flaws and appreciating values, and this new trend disrupts this.
“Bringing up flaws in such a public way and mocking them could even embarrass your partner, which can have a direct impact on trust. The ick list is creating an environment where it’s okay to judge each other, and it’s not uncommon for some people to feel attacked and defensive in these situations.
“Instead, we should be focusing on creating a safe and supportive environment where individuals are able to express their feelings and work through any issues together.”
As opposed to jumping onboard with the trend, Dr Cook suggested it’s best to consider bringing up any annoyances you do have with your partner, while bearing in mind icks are often minor and rarely affect the quality of the relationship, so it’s important to consider whether it’s really essential to bring it up.
If you do feel it’s important to raise something then it’s best to do it in private, and keep the conversation non-judgemental and constructive.
She added: “Try to focus on your partner’s positive traits and express your appreciation of these, but explain the small things you’d like to improve on for the overall health of your relationship. This approach should hopefully help you to navigate any small annoyances, and build on your connection at the same time.”
