A marriage counsellor with 20-plus years of experience has shared the clear sign a couple will end up going their separate ways somewhere down the line — as others share their own ‘red flag’ signs
A marriage counsellor has shared the clear sign a couple’s relationship will end in divorce somewhere down the line. When answering ‘What screams ‘we are not going to last long’ for couples?’ on a Reddit thread, a user shared the comment a counsellor shared with them.
They said: “I was at a party one time and there was a marriage counsellor there that had been working for 20-something years in couples counselling. I asked her what the number one sign was that the couple wasn’t going to make it. Without hesitating, she said, ‘If one person shows contempt for the others feelings, it’s over!’.”
When speaking to The Knot, sex and relationship researcher, Kristen Mark described contempt in a relationship as when you disregard your partner’s feelings and treat them as someone who is not worthy of consideration. He added: “Mocking your partner, speaking to them with condescension, or using sarcasm for cruelty are all examples of contempt.”
READ MORE: ‘My new neighbour is a nudist — he has become a tourist attraction in town’
Adding to this, another Reddit user said: “This is a really well-documented one. Contempt is a dead giveaway. The moment you start ‘sneering’ or using incredulous sarcasm, you should consider it to be a red alert. My wife and I are doing fine these days, but a few of our worst fights have contained contempt.
“Fortunately because we’d heard this guidance before, we realised we were in very dangerous territory and needed to take a really hard look at the root causes of what was p***ing us off at each other. Anger can be a natural reaction, as long as it doesn’t come with abuse. Contempt, however, is like black mould.”
For all the latest on news, politics, sports, and showbiz from the USA, go to The Mirror US .
Sharing their own “red flags” in a relationship, one user claims couples who share “too many” photos or updates about each other on social media could be doing it for “outside validation rather than inside happiness”.
They said: “When they post each other too much. I get the occasional picture together but when you full-on document every little thing it just comes across as wanting to prove your relationship to other people because you’re insecure.”
Another user weighed in: “Talking on the phone/ FaceTime/ texting 24/7. Fastest way to codependency. When one of the partners can’t pay attention to their phone, the other gets sour. I’ve seen it a billion times.”
Do you have a story to share? Email [email protected].
