Victor M. Sweeney, a licensed mortician and funeral director, answered a query about the poignant topic of “deathbed regrets” and revealed one common theme among many people before they pass away
A mortician has noticed a recurring theme among those who share their regrets just before they die. In an interview packed with revelations about death and dying, Victor M. Sweeney, a licensed mortician and funeral director, answered a query about the poignant topic of “deathbed regrets”.
He revealed that it “all comes down to time”, explaining that he’d met people who’d brought him their own obituaries. He described how they can read “like a CV”, listing the jobs they’ve had and the positions they’ve held.
Yet, when it comes to sitting down with the deceased’s family, he has found that they sometimes only know “the stuff” about their parents. Circling back to his original point, he suggested dying without regrets is a case of making the most of the time you have.
Victor told LADbible Stories on YouTube: “And they don’t have this like wonderful, beautiful relationship that we should have with our loved ones before they die. When you talk very frankly with people, like I’ve visited people before they’ve died on their deathbeds.”
(Image: Getty)
He continued: “And the ones who are maybe not afraid to leave this life, or have been…have had a happy life, say they’ve spent their time well, and they spent their time in a relationship.
“So, I can’t speak for everyone, but I think it’s gotta be time. It’s gotta be time that, like, if you don’t want to have that regret, spend your time with your loved ones while they’re living.”
In 2024, a palliative care nurse covered the same topic in a blog post in which she detailed how people “grow” once they face their own mortality, often experiencing a range of emotions, including fear, denial and remorse.
Comfortingly, the unnamed nurse also claimed “every single patient found their peace” before they passed away.
However, when it comes to the most common regret they faced, she says it’s wishing they’d been brave enough to live the life they wanted, not that which was expected of them.
“People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality,” she wrote. “I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.
“Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.”
She added that most people came to the realisation that they hadn’t achieved half of their dreams and then passed away regretting some of their choices, but that wasn’t the only regret that came to light.
One common regret was working so hard that they missed out on things related to their partners or children. In addition, the desire that they’d been brave enough to voice their feelings and losing contact with friends were also mentioned.
