A proud ‘yes mum’ has opened up about her unusual parenting style, and why she believes it’s so important never to say no to her eight-year-old daughter or enforce any rules
While many parents feel the need to set strict boundaries for their children, this certaintly isn’t the case for ‘yes mum’ Lorna Simpson.
According to Lorna, she ‘never says no’ to her eight-year-old, and allows her to make all her own decisions – including bedtimes. Lorna, who buys little Skylah-Faith whatever she wants, is a firm believer in a more laid-back approach, and reckons children don’t need someone ‘constantly telling them what to do and saying no’.
Instead, Lorna allows her child to learn and experience things at a pace that suits her. She also always makes sure to ask her why she wants something, rather than just point-blank refusing her, with a focus on communication and understanding.
Eschewing ‘harsh’ blanket refusals, Lorna has previously bought Skylah-Faith a dancing pole, an aerial hammock, and her own gaming set-up, all because she asked for it. She has even painted the front of their home pink just for Skylah-Faith, and allows her to host sleepovers for friends whenever she chooses,
The 37-year-old mother says her parenting style is working like a charm, with Skylah-Faith naturally doing ‘the right thing’, when left to make her own decisions.
According to Lorna, the youngster rarely makes demands and instead makes ‘conscious’ decisions when it comes to what she wants. Lorna, from Croydon, South London, said: “Kids get this experience once and they need to enjoy that. As far as I’m aware I don’t have rules because Skylah-Faith does the right thing so that’s proof I don’t need rules as it’s written in her essence.
“I may say yes to staying up till like 12 or one in the morning if she really isn’t tired or wants to have longer watching a movie or playing online games. I also let her sleep longer till her natural body clock says so but usually she is an early riser.”
Revealing why she takes such a chilled-out approach, part-time busker and home-schooler Lorna explained: “I had a very forced childhood – my opinion wasn’t asked for and I don’t like to do that for my daughter. I had to unlearn and re-learn things – it’s one of the reasons I took my daughter out of public school and did home education.”
Detailing how she encourages conversations with Skylah-Faith, who is left to make her own decisions, Lorna said: “Children need understanding – they don’t need someone constantly telling them what to do. You let them grow. So we’ll be out, for example, and if my daughter wants something online or in the shop and it makes sense and she’s genuinely interested in it – then of course I’ll get it.”
The relaxed mum went on to reason that Skylah-Faith ‘doesn’t ask for things a lot’ as she ‘already has everything she needs or wants’, noting: “At Christmas shopping time, she realises that other people buy things for the sake of things.”
Lorna has ‘no regrets’ when it comes to Skylah-Faith’s upbringing, and says she ‘just wants to cherish each moment’. She shared: “There’s a lot of communication going on where I get to see how she feels about something – it’s a lot deeper than just saying no to things. I just mainly go with how I am authentically.”
Although Lorna does impose some restrictions on Skylah-Faith, and has had to refuse some requests on occasion, for the most part, she’s allowed to have whatever she wants. Lorna has however had to put a rare foot down when it comes to Skylah-Faith’s interest in vaping – tackling this by researching the dangers together, ensuring that she ‘understands the reasoning’.
Furthermore, although Skylah-Faith is permitted freedom when it comes to her friends, she is careful about where she goes. Lorna explained: “Sleepover wise – if she wants her best friend over then that’s fine but I don’t let her go elsewhere.”
Reflecting that her own confidence was stifled due to her strict upbringing, Lorna emphasised that she wanted a different outlook for her daughter. She continued: “We’ve all got it in us to flourish, we don’t need anyone else telling us how to be. We don’t need to be taught to learn as a lot of the things you learn are through your own interests or experience. From birth, she’s been quite advanced and I’m not going to stunt that growth.”
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