A woman is banning her mum from being present when she gives birth because she wants it to just be her and her partner – but her mum thinks it’s her ‘right’ to be there
Giving birth is not a spectator sport – and who you allow in the delivery room is up to you.
Some women don’t mind having several members of their family present when they give birth, but for other expectant mums, having the ordeal watched – and maybe even filmed – is too much, and they’d rather just have their partner with them and nobody else. Neither of these stances are wrong, and if you’re a family member of someone expecting, then you should respect whatever decision they choose to make.
But one woman has said her mum believes it’s her “right” as a grandmother to be present when her daughter gives birth, despite the mum-to-be saying she doesn’t want anyone there.
The woman explained her mum works in the midwifery unit where she’s due to have her baby, but she isn’t due to work on the day that her daughter is having an elective C-section. However, she’s considering swapping her shifts so she has an “excuse to be in the hospital” so that she can try to see the baby early.
In a post on Mumsnet, the woman said: “Today I told my mum that hopefully, I have a morning slot so that she could come to visit in the evening. She is very upset that she is not being allowed to wait outside the theatre for me to come out. She wants to swap her shift from Saturday to Friday so she has an excuse to be in the hospital and to try and see the baby earlier and to use her being staff to get special privileges.
“She states that she has grandparent rights and is absolutely furious that I have said no to this. She is blaming [my partner] and stating that they must have made this decision when that’s not the case. She really thinks it’s no big deal for her to wait outside.”
The woman said her mum is convinced that her partner’s family “must have something to do with it”, and even her siblings have told her she’s being unreasonable because their mum was involved in the birth of their kids. However, commenters were on the mum’s side, as many told her to stand her ground and not budge.
One person wrote: “I think you need to explain your wishes and feelings. This is the start of prioritising your relationship with your baby and immediate family over your mother,” while another added: “She has no rights and you have the right to your birth as you want it.”
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