‘I’m heteroflexible, I need big muscles to have sex the way that I like it’

Chase describes himself as heteroflexible – someone who is predominantly straight but also attracted to the same sex sometimes, leading to a very complex love life for the writer

A self-described heteroflexible man has spoken about how leaving behind monogamy allowed him to embrace his sexuality and reshape his romantic life.

Chase, a 30-year-old writer, was in what he described as a “healthy and wholesome” long-term relationship but admits he was never fully content. While he valued the security of monogamy, he often felt as though he was “missing out,” sometimes fantasising about relationships with “sexually liberated older women.”

Eventually, he decided to end the relationship and pursue what he described as his “sexual dreams.” Since then, Chase has embraced ethical non-monogamy (ENM) – an arrangement in which all partners openly agree to maintain multiple romantic or sexual connections.

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“Now I’m living those dreams, with not just one, but several women,” he told Metro. He describes himself as heteroflexible, meaning he is predominantly heterosexual, but is sometimes sexually attracted to (or curious about exploring) members of the same sex.

Over the last three years, Chase, from Barcelona, Spain, has explored ENM and says it has had a major influence on his lifestyle. Physical fitness, he explained, has become essential in maintaining his sex life.

“Keeping up with multiple women, some of whom might only be sexually active with me, requires strength and stamina,” he said. “I like to take control in bed, and having muscles gives me both the confidence and the physicality to play the role of stud.”

While juggling several relationships, Chase says he focuses on communication and balance. He frequently messages his two girlfriends and other partners throughout the day, with conversations ranging from affectionate to flirtatious.

However, he insists he does not pursue as many partners as possible, preferring instead to focus on quality.

“Despite some people’s preconceptions about non-monogamy, I value quality over quantity when it comes to sex,” he explained. “I always try to keep a day free between lovers to make sure I can perform at my best each time.”

Chase also says that leaving monogamy behind has taught him to rely more on his instincts. If a connection fades, he now finds it easier to walk away.

“There’s simply no point pursuing a connection if you’re no longer feeling it,” he said.

According to studies, 15 percent of the US population are heteroflexible, while figures in the UK are not clear.

Chase adds: “There’s simply no point pursuing a connection if you’re no longer feeling it, and besides, my calendar is busy with Paula and Yewande, and whoever else life throws my way.”