When one man was backed into a corner regarding his financial status, he felt he had no choice but to be sassy with one of his wife’s friends – but she was left feeling like a ‘failure’
When you’re introduced to your in-laws, you’ll no doubt be wanting to crack jokes and be the best version of yourself possible.
But one man was getting fed up with his wife’s family making him the butt of their jokes, simply because he hadn’t come from the same level of wealth as they had. He admitted that his wife is from a “wealthy background”, but he went through struggles during childhood as he never knew his father, and when he was 11, his mother passed away.
The 25-year-old claimed that his 28-year-old wife’s family would often make jibes because they “hate” him. “I’ve been called a gold-digger, a low-life and a few more vague insults on my table manners”, he fumed.
Taking to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum he wanted to know whether he was in the wrong for telling his wife’s friends that he actually earns more money than her, as he was sick of being put down with his wife asked questions like where did she “pick” him up from.
He wrote: “I, 25M, am married to my wife, Sasha, 28F. She comes from a pretty wealthy background while I decidedly do not. My dad left before I was born and my mum died when I was 11. I’ve mostly ‘gotten over it’, as much as one can, ‘get over’ something like that. However, I’m still sensitive to any so-called ‘jokes’ on that.
“I graduated summa cum laude [with highest honours] and went straight into investment banking. I met my wife when I was 23, and fresh into it, but after three years I earn pretty well. My wife is a lawyer. Now I love my wife and she loves me (obviously) but her family hates me. Like from the depths of their souls, hate me. I’ve been called a gold-digger, a low-life and a few more vague insults on my table manners.
“I went to a ‘party’ with her the other day, one of those fancy shmancy things where everyone drinks cHaMpAgNe and complains about this that and the other, talking about oh we spent sOoOOo much money on renovations, *gasp*. And I got the usual mild comments from my wife’s family and close friends on where my wife ‘picked’ me up from.”
But when one of his wife’s friends, Lacy, took a conversation too far, he felt the need to defend himself and make a quip about his financial situation. He explained that Lacy didn’t know about his family history, and “Lacy made this kind of exaggerated gasp and went ‘oohh, well we all know why you’re with her [my wife] then don’t we?'”
The original poster “acted all confused” and then got “flustered”. He continued “She just kept going with ‘well… you know’. My wife tried to move the conversation along but by this point, I wasn’t letting it go, I kept pushing, and pushing until Lacy finally said, ‘Well you two don’t exactly have the same… finances do you’ and then responded with, ‘you’re right. I make quite some more’.
“Lacy by this point was too embarrassed to keep going, I’d kind of ruined the vibe, but the night continued, this isn’t the kind of event you walk away from. We went home, which was when s**t genuinely went down. She told me it was crazy of me to keep pushing on that point and turn one comment into one of the most embarrassing moments of her life and now everyone in her circle must think she’s some kind of failure to earn so much less than her husband, and I’d ruined everything.
“But it’s not like I lied. I’m just tired of being treated like s**t in her circle. My wife is upset though, and I do care about her, so I need to know, am I the a**hole?”
Someone quoted part of his post back to him, sharing: “Now everyone in her circle must think she’s some kind of failure to earn so much less than her husband”, and then they added a comment. “But she was perfectly fine letting everyone in her life think you were a failure that lives off her. She is also apparently perfectly fine letting them mock or insult you, the man she allegedly loves.
“Why is her image more important than your dignity and the respect for your marriage? A person can earn less than their wealthy partner and still be with them out of love, and she is allowing for that to be questioned. You’re not the a**hole, both she and her circle sound vain, materialistic and classist, and I’m afraid those traits are going to be hard to change.”
Another fumed: “She seems very shallow and content with her husband being mocked by her friends. I wonder what she has told them behind the original poster’s back to lead them to think he is a gold-digging hanger-on. Perhaps that’s why she is angry because her friends now know she is a liar. Original poster, you are not the a**hole but your wife and her friends are.”
A Redditor raged: “Your wife should support you. You’re part of a whole, any insult to you is an insult to her as well. Shame on her for not seeing that”, with someone else agreeing, writing: “She could have been proud and said what a major catch her husband is – good-looking, smart, driven, self-made, successful – but instead she chose to silently let her circle make those vicious comments for ages. And now she says she’s embarrassed and seen as a failure?! This only shows she also doesn’t think highly of the original poster.”
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