A woman who has had more than 20 sexual experiences with married women says she loves the feeling of the ‘thrills’ and ‘excitement’ – although she’s not proud of herself
Having an affair when you’re married is unforgivable – but one ‘other woman’ can’t stop herself from taking part in them.
As a married person, having an affair is one of the biggest ways you can break someone’s trust. They are the ones who have vowed to stay faithful and true. But even though the other person may be single, they aren’t blameless.
One woman is feeling guilty about having more than 20 sexual experiences with married bisexual and straight women, who she says are experimenting. The 34-year-old has been having affairs with married women for more than eight years, and eight husbands have discovered her secret.
Despite knowing what she’s doing is wrong, she loves the feeling of “thrills and excitement”. Asking agony aunt Deidre Sanders for advice, the anonymous woman added: “I’m not proud that I’m destroying marriages. I need help as I’m struggling to stop having these affairs.”
Writing in to the Dear Deirdre, she explained how it all started: “It began when I met a woman via a dating app. We were together in a hotel after two dates. I was shocked when she admitted the next day that she was married and had a child.
“I felt guilty about sleeping with a married woman, but she explained I’d helped her explore that side of her sexuality and had been fantasising about being with a woman for years.”
After asking her to meet up with her again, they eventually began an affair which lasted almost a year. Since then, she’s had “plenty more experiences, “mostly with women married to men”.
She explained that she’s never found herself “falling in love with any” of the women, and thinks she’s in it for the “thrills and excitement rather than the relationships themselves”.
Deirdre suggested she may be having affairs with married women because she’s “afraid of committing to a relationship”. She added: “The thrill of being caught may be exciting and feel as though you are living on the edge, but it is a dangerous game. You know the risks and the potential damage these affairs can cause.”
The agony aunt also suggested that if she had grown up with “a lack of love from parents”, having sex with married women could be giving her a “quick-fix buzz of feeling wanted”. However, as she’s now an adult, she needs to make her own choices and control her own behaviour.
Do you have a story to share? You can email [email protected]
