A mum said knowing she was going to die from bowel cancer allowed her to “live more fully” – and her last few weeks contained “some of the happiest days” of her life. Laura Dawson, 44, suffered with bloating and fatigue for several months before being told she had stage three cancer in March last year.
Initially, she thought her symptoms were linked to perimenopause, but one night she had to be rushed to A&E because her stomach pain suddenly became so bad she “could not move”. The mum-of-two underwent emergency surgery to remove an obstruction on her bowel and, while the operation itself was successful, a biopsy revealed her cancer diagnosis. Laura underwent six months of chemotherapy and initially the scans were “promising”, according to her husband Ben, 49.
He said: “We got one clear scan in August and it all seemed promising. But then in September we got the news that it was back and it had spread. That was absolutely gut-wrenching.”
Initially, Laura trialled some other forms of chemotherapy, but two months ago she decided to discontinue treatment. The treatment was only making her more ill and she instead wanted to spend what time she had left with her family and friends.
Laura was supported by St Christopher’s Hospice in Sydenham, south east London, which allowed her to live at home for as long as she could, meaning she could enjoy her family’s company in a “comfortable and dignified way”.
After two weeks, she was transferred to in-hospice care. She died at St Christopher’s Hospice on Sunday, June 29. Ben said her death was “peaceful” and he was with her at the end.
He continued: “The care Laura received at home from the carers from St Christopher’s allowed her to have her final two weeks at home in a comfortable and dignified way. Then, during the nearly three weeks she stayed at the hospice, she was so well looked after – and everyone there was so compassionate and so caring – that it made Laura’s last few days so good for her. We’re eternally grateful that such a positive experience could come from such a negative situation.”
Speaking previously about her experience of knowing she was dying, Laura said some of her final days had been some of her “happiest”.
She said: “Some of the happiest days of my life have been in the last few weeks. As a society, we shy away from the process of dying.
“By doing that, we reinforce negative ideas around death. People think death is always going to be painful and traumatic, but it doesn’t have to be.
“Deep down we all know we are going to die. Cancer has forced me to acknowledge it. Since then I’ve lived more fully than I’ve ever done and that has been a gift.”
Ben explained that he and Laura viewed the time they had together as a blessing – even if they both wished they had longer.
He said: “Laura could have died on that operating table back in March. Life can be cut short unexpectedly and suddenly.
“But knowing Laura was going to die meant everyone had the opportunity to say what they wanted to say to her. When it comes to the funeral, I won’t have to stand up there and say all those things I wished I had said to her.
“Because I told her and so did the kids. Obviously, I’d prefer to keep her – and have her for the rest of my life.
“But she died knowing she is loved and that we will miss her endlessly. That is a blessing.”
Ben said that throughout the process, he and Laura were always honest with their sons Jacob, 17, and Theo, 15.
Ben said: “We’ve spoken very openly about it all the way through. We’ve always told them what the possible outcomes are – because we want to prepare them for what might happen and we want them to be able to trust what we’re saying. That’s definitely helped us throughout.”
He also said the care she received – from the NHS and St Christopher’s – had made the experience a lot easier.
“From the moment she was admitted into Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital, all the care Laura received was incredible,” Ben said. “We really are so thankful.”
Ben said that Laura wanted to share her story to help other people deal with dying and death.
He said: “The way she’s approached this has been incredible. I don’t think there’s been a day in this process where Laura truly let this get to her. This is unfair. She’s had her life cut short by 40 or 50 years. But she was seeing the beauty in the small things – taking joy in what she could do.
“They say people are glass half empty or glass half full. Laura was always happy enough just to have a glass. She wanted to share that with people.”
Laura also used what time she had left to create memories for her loved ones. She wrote letters, organised mementoes and bought both of her sons sentimental watches.
“She bought me one when we got engaged and now the boys have one too,” Ben said. “That way, on special occasions, like their weddings, they can look at it and know she’s with them and thought about that day.”
Speaking about Laura, Ben continued: “We met 24 years ago. They talk about love at first sight – and it was that.
“She’s been my constant companion ever since. Laura was generous to a fault – and the kind of person who is friends with someone after a minute of chatting to them. She was just a really, really nice person.”
To donate to St Christopher’s Hospice, visit this page: https://www.stchristophers.org.uk/donate
To donate to Cancer Research, visit this page: https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/
To donate to Guy’s and St Thomas’ Charity, visit this page: https://donate.gsttcharity.org.uk/
