A shocked mother has expressed dismay after her husband’s ‘devastating’ outburst about their two-year-old son, prompting fellow mums to urge her to make ‘a total and clean break’
A woman has been left feeling “sick” after her husband declared that he “hated” their young son during a bitter argument.
As explained by this shocked mother, she and her husband tried “for years” for a child, but his fertility issues meant they ended up pursuing another route – sperm donation. As she herself admitted this was far from an easy path, but it was one they’d both agreed to and initially, things appeared to be going well.
Thanks to a sperm donor, the couple has been blessed with a “lovely” son, now two years old. During the early baby days, the husband was nothing short of “brilliant”, being “proper hands on” with everything from nappies to night feeds.
Then, as the little boy entered his toddler stage, everything seemed to change.
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Taking to Mumsnet, the “devastated” mum wrote: “Since [our son] turned into a proper toddler, he’s just pulled right back. [Our son] wants cuddles, climbs on him, wants to play, and [my husband] just moves him or tells him to go to me. He barely interacts now unless I push it.
“Had another talk about it last night and it turned into a row. He ended up shouting that he hates [our son] and that going with a donor was a mistake. Then he stormed out and slept on the sofa. This morning he just got up and went straight to work without a word.”
Expressing her dismay at this revelation, she continued: “I feel sick. We agreed on this together. I know it’s complicated and I know he’s struggling, but [our son] didn’t ask for any of this. He’s just a little boy who wants his dad. I’m heartbroken and angry and don’t even know what to do. I feel like I’ve got to protect [our son] from his own dad.”
Fellow Mumsnet users have since offered some words of wisdom on this painful situation, urging the concerned mother to “prioritise and protect” her child, with many arguing that “there is no coming back from this one”.
One person advised: “That would be a point of no return for me. That’s cruel. I’d make a total and clean break to protect my child: ask [your husband] to leave, remove him from the birth certificate, change child’s name to yours, and then raise your son to believe he was chosen, loved and deeply wanted by you, with the right to contact his bio father when he wants.
“Do this while he’s young enough to forget your [husband] ever existed. Don’t let him grow up feeling like he’s unwanted – ‘hated’ – or that he’s done something wrong just because he exists. It will ruin his life, and he doesn’t deserve that. You have to make sure he’s okay.”
Another commented: “It’s no longer about you, it’s about your child. He cannot leave in a toxic house like that, it’s not fair he can hear this, how damaging and hurtful is it. No child should be feeling unwelcome, resented and a nuisance in their own home.”
A third person shared: “I’m adopted. My parents loved me as much as their birth siblings. It’s not who fathered that counts, it’s who raises. I’d leave.”
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