Is it ever okay to comment on a loved one’s weight? One boyfriend’s careless comment about his partner’s legs has seemingly put their relationship on thin ice
Most of us are insecure about one thing or another – especially when it comes to our bodies.
But one 34-year-old claims her anxieties have skyrocketed, after her boyfriend gave her legs an upsetting nickname. Before delving into her story, the woman claimed she’d been with her partner for around five years and has stayed almost exactly the same size during their relationship – a US size 16/ UK 18.
Although ‘his usual type’ of woman is typically very skinny, it seemed he was initially happy to date her regardless. However, this has suddenly changed, with the 39-year-old boyfriend now making not-so-subtle jabs.
“He’s only known me at this size. I do know his type is very skinny. But he chose to date me at this size,” the woman explained anonymously on Reddit. “There have been ‘things’ here and there where I know he finds me too heavy, which is why I’m now wondering if I’m overreacting.”
Reflecting on one specific conversation, the nameless woman claimed she’d been suffering from a painful ‘knee issue’ and was discussing it with her partner. He suggested she should undergo bariatric surgery – a procedure often intended to help people with obesity lose weight.
However, the woman stressed she simply wouldn’t qualify, and claimed that you ‘have to have a BMI of 35 or over’ in her area. In response, her boyfriend boldly said: “You would qualify. You need to lose a lot of weight.”
She replied: “Um, I know I have to lose weight but you make me sound HUGE,” while beginning to feel ‘a bit triggered’. He then went on: “Look, you have a lot of weight around your hips and thighs and that contributes to your knee problem.”
In spite of his thoughts, the woman actually said this is completely incorrect. Turns out, she’s more ‘apple-shaped’ and doesn’t actually carry much weight in her hips and thighs at all.
At this point, the man resorted to his hurtful nickname, asserting: “I know your body. You have thunder thighs.” Upset and confused, she then walked off, explaining on Reddit: “He continued to text me later telling me that I’m delusional and that I try to pretend I’m not obese but I am.
“For the record, I do try to lose weight. I work out and I eat much healthier than he does (he’s also overweight, but he insists I’m far heavier). After a few days I find I’m still upset over this. And I don’t particularly want to be around him. Am I overreacting here?”
Unsurprisingly, the anonymous plea for advice quickly drew in plenty of comments online, with various users chiming in to give their two pence on the situation. One concerned user advised: “I don’t know, but I would have to think long and hard about being with a person who supposedly loves me but think nothing of using my insecurities to make me feel bad about something I can’t necessarily control. I’d wonder if this was a person worth trusting or spending the energy on being with.”
Another also added: “Find someone who accepts you just the way you are,” as someone else chimed in: “You should drop the extra weight, to clarify I mean this c**p excuse for a boyfriend.”
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