A woman has been left feeling confused after her boyfriend told her she needed to cover up her acne with makeup when they go out, but he thinks it’s “cute” when they’re alone together
A young woman has voiced her insecurities after her boyfriend asked her to cover up her acne whenever they go out in public, even though he assures her that he finds it “cute” when they’re alone.
Turning to Reddit for advice, she expressed her bewilderment over her partner’s conflicting attitude. They’ve been dating for 10 months and she’s left questioning the implications for their relationship.
The perplexed girlfriend shared: “We were going out together a couple of days ago, he looked at my face and told me I needed to put makeup on. I asked him why, and he said I needed to cover up my acne and it looks disgusting.”
Adding insult to injury, she revealed his unsettling justification: “And that it was a bad look for him as well, and it makes me look like I don’t take care of my skin. Which I do, I just got unlucky with my genes, so that hurt my feelings quite a bit. I said he knows I can’t help it, and that it makes it worse if I put makeup on my skin.
“He got annoyed at me and said he wasn’t asking much, and just to do it, and that he doesn’t want other people seeing it.
“I went through puberty quite late because I did a lot of sport, and have since I was very young. While I am still tall, my doctors said I just didn’t really get the hormones for a while.
“So I still have acne even though most of my friends have grown out of it. When it started getting quite bad, I went to a dermatologist who believes that it’s genetic, so she had given me products that would help with it when I was younger.
“So it is nowhere as bad as it used to be, and it’s quite normal. You can’t really see it much unless you’re looking closely, and there aren’t patches of it anymore.”
She continued: “I don’t wear foundation or concealer unless I need to, because I find it makes them worse and my skin isn’t that bad. What was very confusing about that though, is that for some reason he’d often call it cute when we were together, and not in front of other people.
“When we got back, I just said to him it hurt my feelings quite a lot, and that I’d rather that he leaves my skin alone because I know what is best for it. He said it was his preference that I cover it when I’m in public with him, because it looks better.
“I said that doesn’t make any sense, because he says he likes it all the time and then suddenly he’s saying it’s disgusting. He just said it’s what he’d prefer.”
While she confessed her skin still causes her embarrassment, she’s learning to accept it more. Her partner knows she hates discussing it, yet he continues to bring it up.
This has left her feeling deeply hurt, and she’s baffled by his contradictory messages. People were quick to voice their opinions when they heard her story.
One person commented: “I think the flip-flopping might not be relevant here: Someone who really cares about you isn’t going to highlight a physical insecurity and definitely not in such an unkind way.”
Another chimed in: “Saying it is cute in private is just his manipulative way to keep you on the hook. He knows no rational respecting woman would put up with that.”
A third shared their personal experience: “Your guy is a jerk. I have had the same struggles. When my skin was at its worst, completely covered in angry red bumps, whiteheads, and dark scars, my partner still called me beautiful in public, took photos of me, and posted them on his social media.”
They concluded with advice: “A good partner would never be ashamed of you. For your sake, leave him.”
