A father of the bride has decided that if his daughter won’t let him walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, he’s not going to pay for it – but not everyone agrees on his stance
‘Giving the bride away’ is a tradition that dates back thousands of years, and while some still see it as a symbolic gesture others are completely against it.
Having a parent walk you down the aisle and support you on your wedding day is a must for many. But for others, they see it as an outdated tradition from a time where arranged marriages were common, and daughters were seen as the father’s ‘property’ who would be ‘given’ to another man.
But when one independent woman decided she didn’t want to include this tradition in her own big day, her dad was so upset he decided he wouldn’t foot the bill. If she didn’t want to include the tradition of having her father walk her down the aisle, he didn’t see why the father of the bride should pay.
Airing his thoughts on Reddit, the 48-year-old man argued that his 19-year-old daughter had “always been an independent thinker”, and had decided she didn’t want either of the parents to walk her down the aisle. He wrote: “She argues that her mother and I don’t ‘own’ her, therefore we have no right to ‘give her away’. I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property, rather we’ve tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life.
“Her stance seems extreme to me and despite discussions, she’s refusing to budge on the issue. I respect her choices, but I feel she’s disregarding our feelings completely. As a response, I told her that if she feels that way, then I won’t be paying for her wedding.”
While the dad explained he didn’t want to come across “controlling or manipulative,” as true as it is that he doesn’t ‘own’ his daughter, he added: “I also don’t owe her a fully-funded wedding. She can pay for her own wedding if she’s insistent on this stance.”
Thousands of people replied to the post, and many had mixed views on whether they thought the dad was right for withholding funding the wedding. One person wrote: “You’re the a**hole. I don’t understand people saying that if you’re contributing money to the wedding that you get to control it. I have always seen paying for a wedding as a gift to the couple. You don’t put conditions on gifts. Your ego is getting the best of you.”
Another wrote: “If the only reason you’re not willing to pay, is because she doesn’t want to be walked down the aisle, then definitely you’re the a**hole.”
However, many agreed with him, with one person commenting: “Exactly. You don’t ‘own her’ – why are you paying for a wedding to give away a possession you don’t own. NTA [not the a**hole] and less financial stress for you!” Another added: “You heard her. She is independent. Independent people deal with their own bills.”
After reading the comments the dad shared an update to the post, adding that he’d decided to give his daughter a gift for “the same amount as her older sister’s wedding cost. She can use this for whatever she wants”. He also said that this had not been a “relationship-ending” event, and that they have both seen the funny side of the situation.
What do you think? Let us know in the comment section below.
