A woman was left horrified when she realised what her fiancé had done to her dead mother’s ashes, and people said her mum was doing her a favour from beyond the grave
What would you do if your partner knowingly binned your dead relative’s ashes?
Well, one woman was left heartbroken when she realised that her fiancé had betrayed her in this way, and then he dared to lie about it to try and cover his back. The 26-year-old woman explained that her mother had passed away in a car crash unexpectedly, and she and her sister were left “devastated” as they were very close, and their father wasn’t in the picture.
She shared that she lives with her fiancé Ben, who is 28, and she wishes that he’d been supportive after the death of her mother – but things had gone seriously pear-shaped.
She took to Reddit to explain that Ben isn’t great with his emotions, and he’s quite “blunt”, and she put this down to his upbringing. Rather than supporting her throughout her grief, Ben decided to “move out”, as he claimed it was “too much” for him to cope with. “My sister temporarily moved in with me so we could support each other”, she explained, sharing that Ben would check in with her every few days.
“I’ll admit I was p***ed for a while after. I didn’t need him to be my therapist, I just needed him to be with me during the darkest time of my life. The second things got intense he ran for the hills”, she vented. A month later, Ben returned to the flat after someone made him see things from his partner’s perspective, and he reflected on his behaviour.
She wrote: “I wanted to break up at first and my sister agreed, but he begged for a chance to make it right. I was so incapacitated from grief at the time I didn’t have the energy to fight. He took the initiative to get individual therapy for himself and couples therapy for us. I could see he was making a real effort to change so overall we stayed together and eventually got engaged.
“My sister was against it at first, but eventually said she thought he was putting real effort towards everything so staying was a good choice. She moved back out around a month and a half after Ben came back. I offered to let her stay but she said she wanted space since the issue with Ben had been worked out. Things have been overall peaceful since then and we’ve begun wedding planning. Then I found out what Ben did a few days ago.”
And that’s where things got seriously complicated – because she found out a harrowing truth about what Ben had done. She and her sister were wondering what to do with their mum’s ashes, and they’d contemplated necklaces, but they agreed they’d make them “cry”. They also didn’t want to scatter them, as there wasn’t a suitable “super special place”, and they didn’t want to split them between two urns either.
They decided to keep the urn in the original poster’s apartment for safety – but it turns out their mother’s ashes were not safe there. Their mother was religious, and in the urn, there were some rosary beads, and one day the original poster’s sister said that she wanted to keep the beads for herself as a reminder of their mother – but when she went into the urn, she was left mortified. “Imagine my surprise that instead of finding my mother’s remains all that I saw was a bigger ziploc bag full of sand. The rosary was next to it”, she wrote.
Turns out that Ben had “cleaned” the area where her ashes were, despite her telling him not to, and the “plastic somehow ripped and the ashes went all over the carpet”. Rather than confessing, he kept it a secret as he was “scared” about how she’d react and didn’t want to push her “over the edge”. The ashes were in the carpet – so he decided to hoover her up. “Then instead of returning them to the urn he dumped the vacuum contents into the trash. When I asked why he didn’t just return them to the urn after vacuuming he stared at the floor”, she fumed.
The horrified woman continued: “The next day he literally stopped off at our local park and grabbed some play sand in a baggie so it was roughly the same weight as the original ashes.” She called him “stupid”, and she was concerned he wasn’t even telling her the truth. She raged: “The ashes were a little coarse with bone fragments. He didn’t even try to grab some?? He put my mum in the trash. I really hate him right now. I have nothing left but some play sand a 4-year-old probably p***ed in.”
Some said that it was a blessing in disguise that this had happened, with one penning: “Your mother, in her death, saved you from marrying this dogs**t. It is her wonderful gift to you. Her ashes saved you from committing to a man who will make your life a living hell. Plant a tree in a special place and dedicate it to her memory. Dump the dogs**t boyfriend.” People agreed that her mum was looking out for her “from beyond”.
“I’m really hoping you finally see the light and drop this pile of human garbage”, another fumed, with someone else wading in to write: “What a selfish and evil thing to do. I’d NEVER want to see his face again. Disgusting.” Others said the man wasn’t “trustworthy” and the first red flag was when he left her to grieve alone.
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