Farts completely normal – everybody does them – but not everyone enjoys hearing or smelling them, and one woman who is fed up with her husband’s noisy bottom has decided to get a divorce
Flatulence, farts, bottom burps, trouser trumpets – whatever you want to call them – are a perfectly natural bodily function, but not exactly polite to do in public. While some might argue that letting one rip is fine in the comfort of your own home, even in front of a partner, others find it disgusting.
In fact, one woman has become so fed up with her husband’s smelly farts that she’s decided to divorce him. Sharing her rage on Reddit, she explained that when they initially got together she had lost her sense of smell due to Covid-19.
She wrote: “Once we got married, things went downhill very quickly. He started inhaling as many snacks and as much dairy as possible at night. Sometimes he would go out and get a deep dish, fried cheese, loaded pizza and devour it at 11PM.”
She went on: “At first I thought it was just a bad fart here and there. But as the nights progressed, I realised that the bad farts were becoming a nightly nightmare. I know what normal stinky farts are. Even bad sulfuric farts. But, these are not simply either of those. These farts are incompatible with life itself.
“The first time one really hit me in the face, I projectile vomited. I could taste them. They were are almost tangible objects in the air. I’m convinced they are soaked into the carpet and walls.”
The woman feels there might be something medically wrong with her husband as his farts are so smelly. She added: “These farts are almost alive with a mind of their own, and they are terrifying. If there was a horror movie made about farts, it would be about his.”
She revealed her husband went out of his way to fart around her, despite her reaction. She wrote: “It got to the point where I had to stop sleeping in our bedroom the second month of marriage.
“Not only that, but I had to blast the AC, stuff towels under our door, stuff towels under my daughter’s door, turn the fan on in both rooms and sleep in her room with her. He snuck into her room and farted when I was almost asleep so that I would start dry heaving. I had to start sleeping with the door locked with her.”
Exhausted and unhappy, the woman begged her husband to stop eating so much food, but to no avail. She went on: “He said he will always choose that vibrational fart feeling and the fart smell and the grease snacks and the cheese above me. He said that is a hill he is forever willing to die on. On the surface level, I know it sounds like it’s just about farts and then I’m just a really shallow wife, but I think it’s actually so much deeper. It’s just hard to explain how.”
People were horrified by the story. One Reddit user commented: “He’s going to fart himself to an early grave, but his a** gas isn’t going to be your problem for much longer. Also, his poo must be absolutely horrifying.”
Other people felt she was perfectly justified to end the relationship. One penned: “That he would intentionally sneak into your room to fart knowing you are purposefully sleeping in another room to avoid it. That is outrageously disrespectful.”
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