A woman has shared how her cheating husband’s mistress made him into a better man by making him see the ‘female point-of-view’ – but she still can’t forgive him for betraying her trust
A woman has been left feeling torn after discovering her husband has been cheating on her for three years – but says it made him a better man. The 35-year-old came across messages between the unfaithful pair – and spent 50 hours reading over them all to learn as much as she could about her cheating husband’s antics.
But what she came to learn shocked her – as it turns out his mistress has been teaching him how to be a better husband to her. She said on Reddit: “Everything changed about three years ago and my husband became my dream man.
“Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After two hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After four years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
“My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning, I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic.
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“He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I worked late, and planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts.”
She says when they would argue, he would apologise the next day admitting his wrongdoing, sometimes he would never have done before. “Back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego,” she added. “He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.”
However, she came to learn it was all ‘too good to be true’ when she came across their messages five days ago. She shared how he would “tell her his woes and she would listen”.
She said: “99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby.
“Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family. He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable.”
However, these messages were intertwined with others, with them agreeing to meet up once every month or every other month to make their physical desires a reality. She added: “With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sex talk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
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She said: “He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
“I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
“She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years. The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city.”
Seeking advice, she has taken to Reddit to ask social media how she should handle this situation moving forward – and the impact it could have on their two children, aged seven and nine.
In response, one person said: “The last three years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.” Another added: “Marriage is great if you marry the right person. It’s probably the biggest decision in your life so don’t take it lightly.”
A third person said: “Dead bedroom and telling about mood swings, never telling exactly what. Husband cheated and is a piece of s***, but he should have divorced his wife if she was so unbearable and wasn’t ready to work for their relationship.”
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