A woman was left heartbroken when her boyfriend of 12 years finally proposed to her but made no effort and popped the question as she sat down to eat a frozen yogurt
A woman has admitted her disappointment over her underwhelming marriage proposal where her boyfriend made “no effort.”
The disgruntled female felt let down after her partner of 12 years failed to plan anything special to ask her to marry him and instead popped the question off the cuff as she sat down to eat a frozen yoghurt. Taking to social media to seek advice over the let down she opted to share her story as she asked how to put her anger over the issue behind her.
Explaining the situation further the woman wrote: “I (35F) and my fiance (46M) just got engaged two days ago. We have been together for 12 years. We have raised eachother’s kids together. I call him my husband instead of boyfriend when I introduce him to people because boyfriend is such a lowly term to describe what we have been through.
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“We have been wanting to get engaged for years, didn’t have the money to actually have a wedding and all that until the last year or so when I got a really good job. For more context, on our 10th anniversary in Miami, I cried at the end because I really thought he would propose there, he could have chosen any pretty area really. When I finally said something to him, he said he felt terrible because he thought my expectations were so high that I would have to go to Italy or Paris for a proposal (lmao I have never close to indicated that).”
She continued on Reddit : “I told him all I care about is that he put EFFORT into it, that it is special and meaningful. In my brain, it was obvious, on the waterfront where we met by our house would be a great easy and free idea. This last weekend was our 12th anniversary. I had hopes I guess but I’m so used to it not happening that I really did not think he was going to propose.”
She then described how her partner finally popped the question, albeit in a seemingly underwhelming way. She explained: “We had planned that Saturday night in Vegas we would go out for our anniversary dinner. But of course the planning was left to me.
“I chose Alexxa’s at the bottom of the eiffel tower, on the terrace, directly looking at the Bellagio fountains. After dinner, we went in the casino. We walked back to the hotel, he wanted to get froyo so we got that and went back to the hotel.
“As I am about to sit down to eat my froyo, bro says “I’ve been trying to do this all day” or something like that and then says will you marry me. Of course I said yes but I said a lot of “you’re messing with me” at first because I thought it was a joke until I saw the ring.”
The woman then described how devastated she felt. She added: “It took everything within me that night to not cry and not ruin the one engagement night I will ever have. Since then, I have been filled with sadness, resentment and it’s just triggering me a lot about things I already get upset about in our relationship like how I’m always disappointed if he doesn’t do something or does it badly IMO.
“I don’t want to be mean to him, I know he was nervous but he planned NOTHING. He told me that his “driving force was the element of surprise”. Girl what? So he chose to wing it in order for me to be surprised after 12 years rather than put thought, effort and planning to do something special or sentimental. I don’t know how to stop resenting him for this. How did he go from “Paris or Italy” to hotel room? Lol. Also, my ring is nothing like we discussed. Beautiful ring but it’s falling off my finger.”
Concerned users then rushed to comment on the post as they warned the woman to avoid marrying her partner due to his lack of effort. One wrote: “OP, I don’t think I would marry this man in your shoes. He has shown you exactly who he is for years and years, and his proposal is consistent with that. The reason you’re having such a big freakout, IMO, is because it confirms he’s exactly the man you feared he was, and that’s probably not enough to make you genuinely happy despite some good times that you have shared together.”
A second shared: “You really have to take the person as they are and make peace with that, or just say goodbye if you can’t make peace. Having unfulfilled expectations of someone is just a recipe for both disappointment and disaster – not only for the person with the expectations, but also for the one continually failing to meet them.”
A third said: “This whole incident sounds like the shattering of a dream you had about your partner changing into the man you actually want him to be, rather than the man he realistically is.”
