A psychotherapist has explained how to avoid feeling daunted – and like you have wasted money at Christmas – if you have a child with ADHD. Gee Eltringham, who works with children with Special Educational Needs and founded a digital toolkit for caregivers of SEN children called twigged, said Christmas can be a challenging time.
She said: “If your household is anything like ours, you might know how quickly interests can shift for a child with ADHD. It can make Christmas gifting feel daunting and full of potentially expensive mistakes. One week a toy feels essential to your child and the next week as the dopamine hit fades away it waits quietly in the corner where toys of interests past sit and wait their turn for a charity shop drop off.
“You’re not alone. This change in interest is very common. Evidence suggests that many children with ADHD seek novelty, and new items often hold attention for a short time. Recent research from the American Academy of Paediatrics notes that novelty-seeking is a recognised ADHD trait.
“There is also the overwhelm that comes with receiving gifts. The dopamine hit is often from unwrapping them, not from the gift itself, and the expectation of how you must receive a gift from family and friends and the potential impulse control of receiving something you have no interest in and letting it show to family can all be stress points at an already stressful time of year.”
Gee said the pressure to “get it right” can be a point of contention and too many presents can also increase sensory load and emotional overwhelm.
She said: “We use a five-gift idea that keeps things clear, predictable and connected:
- something they want
- something they need
- something to wear
- something to read
- something creative
“Shorter lists and less pressure means more chance for a calm start to the day.”
Gee said stockings can help manage pace and excitement, adding: “In our household, Santa kindly brings the stockings. These are filled with small items that they want, need, or can eat. Simple things like a new pen, a novelty packet of tissues, a packet of chocolate coins, a new fidget toy, and always a packet of Blu Tack – a firm favourite in our household as an acceptable school fidget.
“This gives children with ADHD time to enjoy the unwrapping, which can provide an early dopamine boost but without the expense of larger toys. It also slows the pace. They can take their time, settle their excitement, and move more gently towards the bigger gifts from us. This pause often makes it easier for them to reflect and appreciate what they open later.
We also ask relatives to give experiences rather than extra presents. These can be low-cost and meaningful or for bigger experiences people often club together for cinema vouchers, pottery painting, a bike or riding lesson, a quiet trip for a hot chocolate after school with Grandma or tickets to a show.
“These moments become memories that last.”
Gee said: “For families of children with ADHD, small changes can make the whole season feel more manageable. Predictability helps. Fewer decisions help. And thoughtful routines can reduce the overwhelm that many households recognise. If a calmer, more connected Christmas feels appealing, this five-gift idea — with a Santa stocking to set the tone — may offer a gentle starting point.”
