MoneyMagpie Editor and financial expert Vicky Parry warns about romance scams – and how to avoid losing all your money to them
The advance of AI technology has made hackers, scammers, and fraudsters even more sneaky than ever before.
Even those brought up in the digital age who think they’re immune to scams are being caught out, thanks to deepfakes and authentic-looking emails and messages.
The romance scam is as old as time: get someone to fall for you, ask them to send you money, ghost them. But there are new ways romance scammers can catch you out – so here’s how to spot a possible romance scam before you get sucked in.
Why are AI romance scams increasing?
The Alan Turing Institute recently revealed research that the advances of Generative AI (GenAI) mean scammers can now scale up their fraudulent activities at a massive rate. Whereas previously they may have only been able to target a handful of people at once, automation of everything from the generation of fake images to natural-sounding chat bots mean someone could be scamming thousands of people at once.
It’s much harder to tell a scam these days compared to the usual misspelled email addresses, long-lost great-aunts leaving a surprise inheritance, or (the classic), international royalty who want to give you large sums of cash. But there are still some red flags to look out for to ensure you’re not being scammed.
Love bombing
This is a classic tactic of romance scammers. They move very quickly from messages about your day and general chit-chat, to telling you how beautiful and wonderful you are, and very quickly they’ll talk about how much they love you.
Even in real life, a person who falls fast like this – even if they think they genuinely love you – is likely to be in an unstable emotional place and unready for a relationship. Of course, there are stories of instant true love with marriages that last decades, but these are the exception rather than the rule.
Love bombing also involves withdrawing their ‘love’ if you don’t do things they ask. This is a classic form of manipulation to persuade you to change your perspective. Scammers use this to prey on vulnerable people who are scared of losing the person they think they love.
Asking for money
This is seemingly obvious, but can start very small. They might need you to send them ten pounds to cover their grocery bills, or to pay the electric until they get paid. It’s such a small amount, the victim will often let the repayment slide or feel like they’re helping the person they love out and not want it to be repaid.
Scammers will also often ask for gift cards rather than money. For some victims, this instils a false sense of security, as they feel they’re not being asked outright for cash – and there is often a ‘legitimate’ reason for the gift card request, like it being easier to send a gift card without paying international bank transfer fees. But scammers like gift cards because they’re not traceable.
A scammer may also build up to much larger amounts of cash requests, under the guise of wanting to come and visit the victim from afar. They’ll say they need to afford a plane ticket or international travel visas, while others will say they can’t get a visa without a certain amount of cash in their bank account. They promise to repay it when the visa is granted – but, of course, never will.
The charity link
Scammers can also ask for money by approaching you once they’ve built your trust, asking you to help them raise funds for a charity event or the GoFundMe of a ‘friend’.
Donating to something could mean your money is actually stolen, rather than given to charity. A page on JustGiving is unlikely to be fraudulent, as the platform sends money direct to the selected charity (the page owner does not get the funds). Unless, of course, they have set up a scammy charity, but this is unlikely as it’s a lot of legwork.
Pages like GoFundMe and project crowdfunders like Kickstarter don’t have refund protection: the project owner can keep the funds. This is why fake GoFundMe accounts often pop up after major disasters, as people can pretend they have been involved to falsely raise money for health or personal costs.
You can’t even trust video
You used to be able to verify a person’s identity by asking to have a video call with them. This made it hard for them to look like their catfished photos, or pretend they’re someone else.
However, the advance of AI means it’s now easy to create deepfakes and filters, meaning a person can look just as they want to on the screen in real time. This is how scammers have infiltrated even the most sceptical of lover’s minds in recent years. Last year, a woman lost £17,000 to a deepfake romance scam, when videos were used to ‘set her mind at ease’ by a scammer.
There are a few things to look for if you are on a video call. First, it’s often easy to see if the mouth movements appear out of sync with words, or the edges may seem fuzzy. The eyes may seem to not match the face, too. This means a filter has been applied – and the same goes for things in the background, too. Many filters will accidentally impact elements in the background, such as warping doorframes, so look very carefully at everything on screen.
Scammers will also refuse a video call or send only pre-recorded (and therefore AI-generated) videos. They’ll often use a reason why, such as they work in a remote location without good internet, to excuse the lack of video call.
The super sneaky attack
One particularly sneaky way romance scammers can get you is by not asking for anything from you at all. Instead, once they’ve built up your trust, they’ll share a link or QR code that seems to be from a genuine website. But then it’ll ask for a CAPTCHA puzzle or display an error message that asks you to click a link to redirect to the website.
These actions will download malware onto your device, giving them full access. Your device could be cloned, your banking apps hacked, and your information stolen.
If someone you don’t know – or have never met in person – sends you links, be sure you can trust them. Hover over a link to see if it goes to the website it looks like it should go to. If you think it might be legitimate, visit the website separately by Googling the website instead of clicking the link. And if your gut instinct tells you something is off – trust it.
How to avoid being a heartbreak scam victim
Scammers will often reach out to you first, with big compliments and flattery. If you haven’t put yourself out there on a dating site or on social media, be wary of any direct messages. This is particularly true when the language quickly turns to how much a person loves you or thinks they can’t live without you. Certain words, like the person calling you ‘Dear’, are classic red flags for AI bots or scam scripts.
Never send money to people you don’t know, including gift cards – and don’t ever give away your banking information. Don’t give your address out to someone online either, as sometimes this can be enough to conduct fraudulent activity using your identity.
If the person you’re talking to refuses to video call, or only sends pre-recorded videos, cut contact with them. The same goes for if they ask for money to buy a plane ticket to visit you.
Finally, don’t allow an online relationship to continue for weeks and months without an in-person meeting. If they don’t live near to you, this can be harder, but not impossible. Try video calling them without notice – if they always reject the call, it’s likely to be a scammer unprepared to speak without the deepfake filter.
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