‘We were invited on a family holiday – my husband wants to go without me’

Staff
By Staff

People were left shocked by the husband’s request when his upset partner took to social media looking for advice

Young adult unhappy couple sitting distanced on sofa after arguing.
The couple didn’t see eye to eye on the issue (stock photo)(Image: Getty)

A woman has revealed her husband wants their family to go on holiday while he’s on paternity leave, and suggested going without her when she said it would be too soon for her to travel after giving birth. Posting on social media for advice, the woman explained she’s six months pregnant with the couple’s second child.

They also have a two-year-old child. When her mother-in-law invited their family on a UK getaway that’s since been booked and paid for, her husband accepted the invitation without speaking to his wife.

However, she’s since shared her reservations about joining the big family holidays three weeks after her due date. Her Mumsnet post claimed: “My husband said yes to this without speaking to me, I am a laid back person in general so he’s probably just thought I would be fine with this, and I get on really well with his family.

“Since finding out we were all going I have spoken to mother-in-law and raised my concerns that I thought it was a bit too soon after giving birth to go which she agreed with and said try not to worry everyone will be around to help me/us out with the children.”

Despite this, the woman still wasn’t keen on the idea, something Mumsnet users agreed was reasonable. The mum explained: “I’ve spoken to my husband today and told him that I just don’t think it’s the right time to go and asked if we could either leave going or ask mother-in-law to consider rearranging the trip to a few months later so we could all go together as I know this is what mother-in-law wants.

Smiling parents-to-be are standing in the baby's room and admiring the wardrobe for the baby
The holiday is booked a few weeks after the woman’s due date (stock photo)(Image: Getty)

“I am aware people have booked time off work to go so it may not be viable to rearrange for everyone so explained to my husband if it couldn’t be rearranged then it’s just one of them things and we would miss it and everyone else could go and enjoy themselves.”

However, the father saw things differently, and his response ruffled feathers among social media users. The mum claimed: “His response was that I was being difficult and he would just go away with the 2-year-old and I could stay at home with the baby.

“The break is for 6 days. I feel sad that my 2 year old is going away without me as I am already worried she may feel a bit pushed out when the new baby arrives, I also feel a bit apprehensive about having a newish baby on my own and would like my husband around to help out, he will be on paternity leave.”

She asked: “Would I be unreasonable to ask husband not to go? Or am I being selfish and should husband and 2 year old go and enjoy themselves?”

Father with two sons rowing in canoe along river
The dad wants to go on the family holiday (stock photo)(Image: Getty)

In response, commenters were quick to defend the mum and offer reassurance. One person replied: “No its incredibly thoughtless and selfish of them. Yes you might feel fine about going when the time comes, but you might not, your baby could be two weeks overdue, you are likely to have numerous medical appointments even if all goes well. Very selfish of them to go behind your back and then call you difficult.”

Someone else said: “You have no idea how you will feel three weeks after your due date. Your baby might be late, and you might have a caesarean or other birth injuries. Your husband is being unkind and really selfish, particularly by telling you that you are being difficult and planning to leave you alone with the very new baby.”

Another wrote: “I mean it might be doable if you have a straightforward on time birth but that’s not guaranteed. Very inconsiderate given that these people knew that you were pregnant and due then when they booked it.”

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