‘I only make one of my kids do chores – people criticise my parenting but I don’t think it’s wrong’

By Staff

One mum had an unusual reason for not making one of her kids do chores, so many people insisted she should teach her ‘life skills’ so she could be a ‘functioning adult’

Often, when you’re growing up, chores are something that should be split relatively evenly throughout the whole household – but not for one family.

You may not want to do certain things, such as taking the bins out or washing the dishes that can’t be bunged in the dishwasher – but you’ll have to get on with it to keep the peace within the family. But when one mum admitted that she only made one of her children do chores in her house, people were left mortified.

The mum of two tried to explain her reasoning behind the seemingly unfair choice, however, blaming it on the amount of co-curricular activities one of her kids participated in.

The 49-year-old woman explained on Reddit that she has two daughters, who are currently 13 and 16. She said her 13-year-old currently “does more co-curricular” than her sister.

She then proceeded to list the things her 13-year-old does, writing: “Debating: 1.5hrs a fortnight; Badminton: 1.5 hrs a fortnight; Orchestra: 2 hrs per week; Strings consort: 1 hr per week; Piano lesson: 1.5 hr per week; Violin lesson: 45 minutes per fortnight; and practising instruments 20-30 minutes every day”.

Then, she listed the 16-year-old’s co-curricular activities list, which was, admittedly, a lot smaller, sharing: “Orchestra: 2hrs a week; Choir: 1 hr a week.” The mum then said that she “reluctantly” let her 16-year-old “quit both her instruments due to her constant protests”.

The mum said her 16-year-old daughter was calling her “unfair”, as “she has had to do chores since she was 11 but her younger sister still doesn’t at 13”. But the mum’s reasoning made sense to her, as she penned: “The housework I am making her do is a reasonable amount: just wiping the dining table every day, putting away the dishes on the rack for weekends, and hanging up the laundry twice a week. The fact that her younger sister does not need to help out is irrelevant.”

She then asked whether she was in the wrong for allowing her younger daughter to get away with not doing any chores, insisting that she did more co-curricular activities, so she thought it was fair.

In the comments, someone wrote: “Chores help kids learn how to be self-sufficient. Even having them put together simple meals for the family once or twice a week can be hugely beneficial for them when they become adults. We criticise younger generations for not knowing basic life skills, but that’s 100% the fault of the older generations who couldn’t be bothered to teach them.”

Another added: “My older sister kicked up a fuss about chores and life skills (would literally flee the house) and now she’s not a functioning adult. Doesn’t/can’t cook, won’t clean until there are mountains of trash, refuses to work, etc. Everything got dumped on me as a kid so I’m able to manage a household!”

A Redditor referred to the mum as an “a**hole”, commenting: “When my brother and I moved away from home we were astonished that the other students couldn’t do basic things like making their bed, doing their laundry or cooking. While I think my mother had me doing far too much housework and farm work, having life skills when you leave home is really important.

“It’s also really unfair to suggest that the 13-year-old doesn’t have to do chores because she is filling her time with activities you approve of. I don’t think the amount of chores the 16-year-old is doing is unreasonable, but her sister should be doing chores too. If you want your daughters to get on, don’t make one the golden child.”

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