‘My family disowned me after hearing my son’s name – they say it’s disgraceful’

By Staff

A heartbroken man has shared how his parents dislike his baby son’s name so much that they have completely cut him out of their lives and refuse to meet their new grandchild

A man has shared his heartache after his family disowned him because they dislike his newborn son’s name.

He explained how he was not on “the best terms” with his family to start with – saying they tried to control his life and blamed his wife for “influencing him all the time”. But he never expected them to completely cut him out of their lives just because he didn’t follow their ‘rule’ when naming his firstborn child. He said on Reddit: “My wife and I have been together for six years now, and we brought into the world a healthy baby boy.

“My family is very cultural, and in our culture, we have this tradition that the first son has to be named after the son’s father to honour him. I personally hate this tradition because I believe the name should be the decision of the kid’s parents and no one else’s.”

He went on to explain how he witnessed no end of arguments about this ‘naming tradition’ growing up – and didn’t want to continue this with his own family. He added: “I decided to not follow this path (my parents are aware of this story) and my parents know this.

“Coming to the present day, my son is almost five months now, healthy and well, and my parents have not yet met him (them refusing to talk to me) because of an argument over the name between me and my mother (her trying to influence me to follow the tradition, and my wife saying to her in a message that the name is the decision of me and my husband, and to not try to influence me again without my wife’s presence again).

Trying to break the ice, he sent his parents a text message inviting them to be a part of his child’s life – but they shot down his offer. He said: ” I decided to make contact with them with a text message asking them if they want to be part of his life and to meet him eventually (mostly saying to them that I’m happy to not talk to each other and be still angry but you are welcome to see him any time you want) in person and they said to me that they don’t want to.

“My father said that he doesn’t want to meet him, I should change my last name and that he can see grandchildren from elsewhere implying my sister.” Giving it a second try, he added: “I have invited them to his christening still (even though I know they wouldn’t come) because it’s the right thing to do.”

While most users praised him for trying to reconnect with his family, others urged him to move on with his life. One user said: “You tried and you failed… don’t humour them at all! You have done all you can for your side. If they don’t want to see you again, they don’t want to see you. Your family is bad, and I feel if they do decide to come back they will influence your child (Or children if you decide to have more in the future) negatively.

“if they do, it is your choice to accept them, however, if you do, you can ‘Forgive but not Forget’ but I highly recommend them not doing any babysitting if they do!” Another user added: “I would take my wife’s surname and happily move on with my life.”

A third user said: “You tried to have them be part of your son’s life. Your parents have made a different decision, based solely on traditions, to have no contact. They also have no respect for you, or your wife, as responsible adults creating their own family. All this is based on some old sense of generational privilege.

“Apparently, they feel strongly enough to go no contact with you, your wife, and their baby grandson. I am having a hard time getting my head around that kind of thinking. But, if it is no contact they want…..give it to them. No contact.”

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