‘My friend’s husband is trying to dictate the way she gives birth – I’m worried for her’

By Staff

A woman was left concerned for her friend after her pal’s husband was trying to control the way in which she gave birth – and many women were horrified at the thought

The choices you make before giving birth are deeply personal – so people were horrified at the thought of a woman’s partner trying to dictate how she went about it.

Giving birth is no small feat, but it’s the necessary – and probably painful – part before getting to meet your little bundle of joy, so in the long run it’s worth it. But what would you do if your partner started trying to dictate the way you gave birth, rather than” making it an open discussion?

Of course, a woman’s partner is entitled to their opinion when it comes to the birth of their child, but ultimately, it’s the person who is giving birth’s final call – and the partner should wholeheartedly respect that. But one woman’s friend’s husband was trying to control the way she gave birth, and they were left baffled, as he was “basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way”, so it was “out of character” for him to be so demanding.

Explaining on Mumsnet, she wrote: “Is it unreasonable for a husband to insist on a vaginal birth not caesarean? Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn’t want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.”

Later, she added: “He’s absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it’s slightly out of character.” Eighty-one per cent of people said that it wasn’t unreasonable for the woman to choose the way she wanted to give birth.

“Her vagina, her business”, one fumed, with someone else adding: “If he’s the one giving birth he gets to choose. Otherwise, it’s 100% up to her.” Another pointed out that a caesarean wasn’t necessarily easier, however, penning: “Her birth her choice, however, a c-section is not pain-free by any means. You have major abdominal surgery that takes weeks/ months to recover and is painful for far longer (not as intense).”

A Mumsnetter raged: “He can decide on any pregnancy and labour that he has. Otherwise, he can f**k off Keep that friend very close and watch carefully. A man like that is a red flag. Could be he’s just a d**k. But could be a lot more.”

Another agreed, writing: “I don’t think any woman should be put under pressure to have birth in a way that is not if her choosing. It’s a s**tty way to start your experience of motherhood, immediately stripped of her own agency. Stamping his mark on their joint parenting approach somewhat isn’t he?”

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