A woman has told of her ‘heartbreak and loss’ after her husband of 19 years told her he was leaving her for another man, and that their marriage had been a sham
A woman has told of her ‘horror and heartbreak’ when her husband of 19 years admitted he was gay, leaving her questioning their entire existence together.
The Canadian couple, who live in British Columbia, had been happily married, or so she thought, until he threw the recent ‘break-up bombshell’, telling her he was divorcing her to be with a man he has been seeing behind her back.
After her husband admitted he knew he was gay before he met her, she said: “Maybe I’m dense because I never suspected a thing. We have an active sex life. But he came out now because there is someone else he’s seeing and he said he is divorcing me so he can be with that man.”
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After revealing that same-sex marriage was legalised in their province a couple of weeks before the couple met, she said: “I understand if he wasn’t ready to be out yet, but I don’t understand why he dated and married me knowing that he was not straight.”
And while the horror of knowing their entire time together had been a lie, she was left ‘truly reeling’ when he told her some further home truths: “When he told me about the divorce, my husband said he had never found anything about me to be attractive, in my looks or otherwise.”
She admitted to being: “Broken by the things my husband said. He broke my heart.”
And while she had been left truly hurt by his admissions, she said her heartbreak had been made worse by the reaction of those around her, including her own family: “Everyone we know, including my family, is saying how great it is that he came out, but not one person has asked how I am doing. I have been forgotten.”
After taking her traumatic tale to Reddit, readers were quick to offer their support, with one advising: “Look into counselling, and draw the people who are closest to you even closer, because you are going to need support.”
Another was fully on her side, saying: “Being gay doesn’t excuse shitty behaviour. If he knew before marrying you, he has deceived you all this time and had an affair (maybe multiple) during your marriage. You don’t just magically find another partner to jump into the next relationship with.”
Another agreed, saying: ‘To use someone and eat their time up is a betrayal of their time that they could have used to have a different life with a different person.”
One reader said the situation was a true violation: “People forget that just because someone comes out doesn’t absolve them of the manipulation and lies they participated in. And to tell someone you have been with for 19 years you never found them attractive is traumatic. It feels like a violation because you feel like you were used for something rather than being loved.”
Another agreed, commenting: “This is where the cruelty lies… she doesn’t get that time back. Now he leaves her questioning almost 20 years of her life. Just awful. He stole her youth.”
